Corkscrew

happy juneteenth 

i am so mfing sexy tf

how big of an epiphany did somebody have to realize that pistachios would be good as a dessert? 
          like-
          
          A:“dude i got this idea to make a pistachio flavored dessert.”
          B:“tf ur tripping”
          A:“well ill prove it.!”
          B“k prove it”
          
          later 
          
          B: “OMG THIS IS HEAVENLY WTF OSBFLWNFJENE GIMME MORE”
          A: :]]]

wtf is my problem ☠️☠️☠️
           like i never know what i gotta do
          whenever i should go somewhere then im like “hmmm i should stay home and do my own thing” then i missed out 
          
          anyways this time i clearly shouldve taken a break but “nooooooooooooOoOoOoOoO i want friiiiiessssss”

well i told my crush i like her ☠️
          
          she was like “i havent thought ab you that way before but i dont mind giving it a thought” or smth like that
          
          anyways i made a mistake
          
          i told my closest friends and theyre so weird
          always have been 
          
          but one of them said “ykw since ur so uncharming and horrificly ugly, me and sun aka ur wingmen can go make her pity you. ooooo we’ll show her how terrifyingly annoying and bothersome we are and she’ll feel bad that you dont have any normal friends, then be ur friend and tht will lead to more! pity friends to lovers!”  
          
          my friends wanna harass my crush to pity her into liking me 

i wanna tell the girl i like that i like her so people let me comfort her like everyone else.
          ppl dont even knew why i wanna be next to her when she cries.
          they literally asked me to go away for a sec when she was crying :(

231 followers.. should I ruin that 

ur edgy

i’m so glad to be the 999 person your following -

HI BOTH OF US HAVE MURDERERS 
          AS OUR COMFORT CHARACTERS