Hey kids, CoffeeCan Company here to bring you this new amazing product! Now you're a cool cat trying to having a cool summer, right? WRONG! You've been stuck for the past two months doing yard work and chores from sun rise to sun down! But you don't want your friends to know you had a crappy summer, right? So you want to throw an end of the summer party!
What are you gonna drink at the party!? To show you had such a better summer than all your other friends?!
Lemonade? No! Every kid sold it on the street yesterday!
Hot Chocolate? Where'd ya go, the North Pole?!
Clamato Juice? What are we, fifty?!
How 'bout ice tea! Yeah, tasty and original! But there are so many brands to choose from, what will ya pick?
Well, we've taken care of that problem for you! Introducing, OLIVIA OFFICIALLY ARTIFICIAL FLAVORED ICE TEA!
You like summer, but you like to stay cool! Well guess what?! THE POOR IDIOT WE SQUEEZE THIS FROM IS A WALKING SNOW MA-
What, we were on air?! Vergil, how could you do this to me! Edit that out or so help me I'll squeeze you into ice-
Have a lolly pop kids!
Anyway, this life changing product will give you the energy of a psychopath, attitude of a pollyanna, and the brain capacity of a fly! Where do you think we get this stuff from!? TEA LEAVES?! GIVE ME A BREAK!
With our sensational new product, everyone will believe you had the best summer ever! Have another glass, Reginald!
*WARNING: Do not consume if you follow or are under the ruling of the Snow Queen. You will be horrified if you find out-*
Try the OLIVIA OFFICIALLY ARTIFICIAL FLAVORED ICE TEA today! Yes, we spell it in caps! Got a problem with that? Take it up with our managers @llamma_lover and @MZgaming. *Cracks knuckles*
Also try our new OliviaLovesSnow Mugs! It makes your day, magical!
OLIVIA OFFICIALLY ARTIFICIAL FLAVORED ICE TEA, or for short, OliviaFlavoredIceTea.
Buy it. Drink it. Love it.
CoffeeCan. We hate coffee, but we love you.
DRINK OUR PRODUCTS KIDS
