Vic'

Une de mes rates a eu des petits, 8 bébés en pleine forme qui ont eu 17 jours, je déborde tellement d'amour pour eux c'est tellement incroyable de les voir grandir et d'avoir eu cette possibilité de les avoir, de les laisser grandir et de pouvoir en garder.
          
          Je redoute le moment où je vais les donner, mais qu'est-ce que je suis heureuse d'avoir eu des rats, de les avoir élever depuis 3 ans et bientôt 4.
          
          J'ai eu beaucoup de rats, donc la plupart des sauvetages sinon j'en aurai eu moins, 8 sont morts, malheureusement elles ne sont pas éternelles.
          Mais les 10 que j'ai actuellement, sans compter les bébés, c'est les amours de ma vie, elles me comblent tellement.
          Ma vie est rythmée par mes chats, mon chien, mes rats, mes poissons et avant mon araignée. Globalement, mes animaux.
          
          C'est ma plus grande fierté<3

It's worse and worse and worse it won't stop spiralling down and down and I'm gonna go right I just need more and more I wanna rip me ears off, pop my eyes with my thumbs and jump off my window so i'll fly and die on the ground, my bones shattering and my organs exploding 

I'm the cause of my mother's sadness
          She hates me 
          I'm the cause of her depression 
          I made her sick 
          

I feel so sorry to my surroundings
          I'm empty and not interesting, I'm horrible to be around
          I feel bad

I wish I had somewhere to call home.
          This isn't a home, this is an emotional and physical torture place that makes me lose my sanity everyday.
          Am I born to wait for this suffering to end? The thing is it'll end at either her death or mine. 
          
          I wish I had more time, I want to live, I really do. But when I can't, how do I breathe? 
          I want to know, yet I don't.
          I don't know anything truly, it's a shame.
          
          I want to love everything I missed, but I can't with her, I can't be my true self, I can't love, have interests.
          
          I'm born to be her playdoll, her eternal baby she can use, her daughter-statue, her husband, her friend, her therapist, her s-partner, her object.
          
          I'm a thing, I dont want to be one.

Test

They hate me I hate them fine idc I broke something in my brain 
          I'm erratic I'm a danger human danger kill me 

Been shaking for two days in a row, terrible headache, no balance, worse than ever
          Nobody nobody though I TOLD THEM

Attempted, told it, got ignored 

I'm honestly having a nervous breakdown everyday
          I'm so exhausted and fed up
          The void has grown insane lately 
          I just wish for someone to drive over me please