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Hearing your side of things I began to understand where Moira was coming from . And it really did gave me an understanding how much both Moira and Jazmin love Ads. It’s funny, It would be pretty interesting if Jazmin and Moria ended up thanking each other. Let me explain because of Jazmin’s decision this allowed Moria to heal and spend next years of her life happy and fulfilled more than she has before, and she had the chance to love Ads and know what it felt to be loved by her. And Because of Moria interest in Ads she gave her success, independence and strength and the ability to accept herself and choices in life. She took care of her when Jaz couldn’t. And even when dying she made sure to have her assistant or employer send Jaz an invitation to Ads open gallery so she can see her again and be able to be there and love her when she no longer could. That’s why I love and I’m protected of both of these characters. And of course there is no excuse for what they did, but I can forgive what they both did, because it came from a place of love. 

I just feel that with Moira and Ads relationship there was some form of closure. And I feel that maybe I’m holding on too much on how Jaz character was in the first book and I still see that person sometimes in the third. That I had trouble accepting that Moria holds bigger place in Ads heart. I love Moira’s character and I just had the conflicting feeling of being devastated by her death but I couldn’t get that betrayal out of my head and I feel guilty because she loved her and made Ads so happy and doesn’t need a grudge to be held even when she’s gone. But I just wanted to not feel crazy that I’m feeling this way. I can see now how Ads would have chosen Moira over Jazmin if she was still alive and quite frankly I found myself thinking they would have better as friends and slowly got to forgive each other instead of jumping back together so quickly. It just I can’t help but see myself in Jazmin when comes to her insecurities and over protectiveness and “I must be the only one to save and change the lives of those I love” which isn’t healthy. But I just feel that Jazmin never got help and worked on herself after her first wife cheated, and kinda fell in love with Ads when her heart wasn’t truly ready. Yeah she lost her because of insecurities but also realized that maybe she didn’t think through all the issues she has in her self that she never worked on. What I love about Moira is that she learned to accept that certain things happen and to learn from them and she didn’t jump into relationship with Ads until she was comfortable and open enough in heart to let her in. 

But she did it because she thought that Ads life was truly her owns after she freed her, but it ended being not the case. And the way Ads sorta blames Jazmin that she feel love with Moira in the consequence of her decision is not fair because Ads could have confronted Jazmin in her right and choice to do so if she wanted her back, even if she felt she had no choice, she did. Jazmin had intentions of winning her back but saw she signed the divorce papers and was in a relationship already and didn’t  want to ruin that. While it seems that Moira had no problem of playing a part of  ending Ads and Jazmin’s marriage.  I feel for Jazmin because she is blamed for a moment of insecurity and the belief she was holding her back, as a way that she is not allowed to feel sadness, and jealousy, that woman that played a major role in her doubting herself and I turn losing the love her life managed to win Ads love and gave everything that Jazmin so desperately wanted to give Ads but couldn’t. That feeling that you can’t give the person you love so much everything they  want and deserve but someone else can is heartbreaking. I can understand her hatred and at times insensitive and callous feelings about Moira and Ads relationship. And the way that she will never measure up or meet the expectations of what Moira did for Ads is not an easy pill to swallow or deal with.

And that in the end Moira didn’t have to much to lose at the end because she was already dying and took that leap. As long as she got Ads love and was able to pass on her legacy it would have been worth it even if Ads forgiven her or not. Moira everything she wanted and then some. I feel that in the third book Jazmin so criticized for the same at times selfish and insensitive behavior that Moira did in the second book. And she is condemned to her  poor decision that was made in although selfish intent but made out of insecurity and guilt that she may have been holding Ads back. And I felt that it seems that Moira’s betrayal was gone done to not being as bad compare to Jazmin. When it isn’t. Ads didn’t have much of a choice in a lot of things going on in her life because a lot of it was influence Moira. Even there are few things that Moira had no control in. I just feel that at times Jazmin is seen unreasonable or unjustified in her hatred towards Moira because she passed away. Which I understand why she feels the way she does because with the limited interaction between Moira and Jazmin. Moira treated her as less than and threw a check in her face and was demanding the painting of Ads. And it puts this blame just on Jazmin that her poor decision was the cause of all that happened when it really didn’t, was it what open the doors to that happening... yes

And even though she had good intentions, her obsessive love for Ads has made her selfishness be the forefront of her plan and relationship with Ads. I never doubted the love Moira had for Ads, but  I find myself not to be able to get past it, because her plan hurt so many people. I hate being manipulated and have someone making a major life decisions for me without consulting with  me because they thought it was best(whether it was or wasn’t) I feel that Moira also had the experience of knowing of taking for granted or doubting the love of her life. So she has the opportunity to make up for that past mistake. While Jazmin didn’t have the opportunity until after, because she had a child at 36 or 37 which would have made Ads in early 20s still, and didn’t come back to fight for her because she had to focus on her daughter and knew that Ads would not be ready for that.

So I am having trouble still to forgive Moira because what she did although was out of sort of good intentions was a major invasion of privacy and boundaries. And I never doubt Moira’s love for her, and wanted to give her the world, but she didn’t ask Ads beforehand if that’s what she truly wanted. And though yes Ads had a form of control after Moira’s death she didn’t have much choice during their relationship. Moira wanted to free her but in reality she was making decisions and influence Ads to be on path that she wanted her to be and didn’t think about what she truly wanted. And didn’t give her the option to decide for herself. Although even though Moira apologized it came a bit to late, because she was in a critical stage and was dying soon. She didn’t have to see the affects of her betrayal of Ads months or years later because she passed with a peace of mind. I feel as though that Moira was at an unfair advantage because she saw certain parts of Ads life that Jazmin couldn’t have. And had the resource, the money, and influence have what she wanted. 

I already read the book and not to risk spoilers, I will message you here. So I already had long detailed explanation on my thoughts that were  erased because it was too long so... I’m going to try to remember everything and break it up.