I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling. What I do know is that this feels different than the last few times.
Sometimes I wanna ask you if it feels different for you too, but I know that I shouldn’t ask and so I don’t because it’s better for both of us that way. Honestly I don’t wanna talk and for once in my life I feel like I want what I feel to come true. I feel like it is and I don’t know why though because to me this feels different than the last three months or when we weren’t talking three months before that or last year around this time when we also weren’t talking for some reason. This all feels different- like maybe this time will be the time that sticks and I feel closure that way. then again I’m so afraid that this is just a phase and that this is just me feeling the way I feel during the second month which is that time where I feel like I’m moving on but I haven’t. So, I have to wait. I have to hold out until June to see if what I’m feeling right now is really what I feel.
