Oopziedaisy_

And you know what… the kid was right. Nobody is forcing me to write if I don’t want to… I can just… stop. But truthfully, writing has been here for me when the whole world feels like it’s caving in. When everything feels hopeless and there’s this anxiety churning in my stomach I just… write, and suddenly the problems and romances of my characters… their worlds and families and pets- they consume me, until all the darkness I feel disappears. 

Had a breakdown, whined about missing her then realized I don’t even remember her like that #nostalgichoe

It’s my first time seeing “for my final act of love” since… winter time. 

Ughhhh it’s absolutely killing me not to post on my conversation bored- like yeah, the posts are boring and vigorous but that’s just me soooo

I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling. What I do know is that this feels different than the last few times. 
          
           Sometimes I wanna ask you if it feels different for you too, but I know that I shouldn’t ask and so I don’t because it’s better for both of us that way. Honestly I don’t wanna talk and for once in my life I feel like I want what I feel to come true. I feel like it is and I don’t know why though because to me this feels different than the last three months or when we weren’t talking three months before that or last year around this time when we also weren’t talking for some reason. This all feels different- like maybe this time will be the time that sticks and I feel closure that way. then again I’m so afraid that this is just a phase and that this is just me feeling the way I feel during the second month which is that time where I feel like I’m moving on but I haven’t. So, I have to wait. I have to hold out until June to see if what I’m feeling right now is really what I feel.