i don't know if you're ever going to see this, but if you do, hello! i wouldn't be surprised if you have any ill feelings towards me. 2021 was wild, but i feel like i owe you an apology for the fact i dropped you out of nowhere. honestly i wasn't going to say anything but recently i've been reading over old wattpad stuff oh well!
i think i owe you an explanation; a proper one that is, because i want you to understand where i'm coming from, even if you're angry at me by any chance. i dropped you because i felt drained, and even brought my friends into it. the negativity was a lot, especially since i was already dealing with my own sets of mental illness at the time. at the time i thought you changed, but then i saw the same patterns; the same reasons i left so long ago. honestly, i'm not sugarcoating this but you made me so twisted against venting for a long time. but, i failed to recognize that you were struggling too. that's why i feel i should apologize to you. i should've talked to you, confront you even, but i was also torn that i felt nothing had changed. i felt i had to constantly avoid you because of how draining everything was. i'm sorry it's cruel, but i had to finally say it. i've held back for too long, but i've grown.
despite that, though, i really do wish the best for you. i do hope you recover, especially since its been years. i never hated you, but i couldn't bring myself to rekindle our friendship because of how exhausting it was to be with negativity all the time. my friends even became exhausted because it can become overwhelming after a while, and i'm not innocent to that either.
but, i really do hope you recover, and even if our past together wasn't the greatest i really hope you do pursue your dreams and continue your hobbies. if you see this, you may respond or you may ignore it. but, i'm finally giving you the explanation you were owed all these years. i can finally put these thoughts to rest.
good luck with everything <3
