I am like my name
A bearded Vulture
I scavenge and devour the bones of the dead for sustenance and scout the predators that surround me, waiting, watching for the moment where they remove themselves from their fallen prey so that I may crush and dissolve the ossein goodness. I was revered by a precious few in the past however I have now been reduced to a passing oddity. I bathe in false blood to ward off competitors and mask my weakness for though death surrounds me I fear it but they must not know that. 
How's that for edgy? Nah, I'm just a regular guy in a regular world writing regular things. If you read my stuff you'll find that it's pretty regular and should you choose to support me in my regularity then I too will provide you with more regular entertainment.
What is it? You wish to know more about me? The author? Such as my appearance? Well unfortunately I will remain as the only person privy to my appearance on this platform until something changes (like I become attractive or lower my standards OR I become accepting of my imperfections and reveal myself in all my imperfect glory).
But until that time comes you'll have to be content with mild spite and heavy sarcasm.