this message may be offensive
I miss y'all's friendships, okay?
I knew what i was doing the whole time, and I do apologize for what I have done. I'm a shitty person for doing that to her, and i know it. I don't know why i just didn't talk to her about our relationship early on when i did start questioning it, and what we are and all that funky crap. It totally wasn't fair to her nor the group's mental health or workings. I broke promises and everything by fucking up this BIG TIME. It isn't fair that I didn't give her that chance with what I did with him. It also isn't fair that I didn't talk things out with her. I was too much of a pussy to break up with her or talk about stuff with her. I feel really bad for that.
Greenie, i know you don't know how to keep your mouth shut, just fucking chill out. I did not cheat on you, you have no right to what is happening in me and her's relationship, and I do believe that you calmed down. I want you to talk to me face to face, like own up to your opinions and shout them to my face like a big girl, instead of hiding behind texts and online shit. You never talk about this with me at all, and I don't want to impede on your boundaries. Just come up to me and talk about things, okay? Don't be a coward like I was in this. I want you to fucking get mad at me and beat my ass, make me cry, go all out and point out every single bit on why this makes me a bad person. Don't stop making a point of how I'm such a shitty person. All of this is my fault and I'm sorry for making her and everyone else upset.
Red. I didn't get an explanation from you. You just said goodbye, and have never tried to talk to me again. I want to have an actual conversation with you and get an idea of what you are at in this. I want to know what your feelings are in this. I want you and Greenie over there to come and beat my ass. Make me feel worse than i have already felt over this. Please tell me what you're feeling. We can even spar if you would like, honestly. We can do that if you're mad.