🍂Ali🍂

R u asleeeeeepppuuuhhh

aahhhaaaaaa

i lwk feel drunk bro whaaaaaaaaaattuhhhh

Noooo dont die youre so sexy aha

im gunna bark at u aha

u simp for yuji?

Okay. What I said is true. But I should probably word it differently. Your not the whole reason. Its everyone. The whole friend group. The people who called me a pepperoni pizza face, the people who told me to k m s, everyone at school (except Christa and a few others), I'm no saying I hate any of you. I love you all. But I'm just tired, mentally and physically. I need help. Professional. I'm hanging by a thread. I have no hesitation to leave. Everyone's leaving, and I'm not doing well. I feel like everyone thinks I'm lying. I told Sophia about how I was doing horrible, but I was smiling while saying it because I was on the verge of tears, but couldn't let them out. Like I physically couldn't. And Sophia hasn't talked to me a lot since. Madi started school, we haven't been talking, she made a new friend, and its the whole situation with Charlotte and lily all over again. The only 3 people who were keeping me going. The only ones who healed my wounds. Physical ones and mental ones. And now they left. I feel like my emotions are being downplayed. Everyone thinks I'm fine. I'm not. I'm not okay. I'm not fine. I'm not joking about anything. I still want to be your friend. My blood was just boiling and I overplayed things. I want to say, I'm giving you a choice. Be my friend or don't. I'm not pleasant to be around anymore. And it would hurt less for you.

I know you won't see this. But I really hope you know that the world doesn't revolve around you. Not everything is about you. Your so selfish. Every time I try to tell you something that's is really hurting me, it just ends up with me comforting you and pretending everything is fine while I'm actually balling my eyes out behind the screen. Your so selfish. I hate you. And there's always a hint of truth in everything you say. I'm not saying I don't want to be your friend. But I want you to be maybe a bit more fucking considerate. I want a break from being around you, your hurting me. But im too fucking obsessed. I've known you too long. Its hard to distance. I still have hope, that maybe one day youll notice how much I'm hurting. And I hope you'll help. Some of the cuts on my thigh is from feeling not loved, by you and everyone else. I'm tired of all of you guys downplaying my emotions. I'm tired of being the therapist friend. I dont sleep. I don't deserve it. You guys make me feel like a horrible person. So I torture myself. Don't underestimate the silent battles I or anybody else is fighting. I'm jealous of you. There's nothing to be jealous of, your life is shit too. But at least you feel. I'm tired of fake laughing. Fake smiling. And saying I'm fine, when I'm really sitting on my hands to prevent myself from digging my nails into my skin. I'm sorry I'm such a horrible person, just stop talking to me okay? I'm not pleasant to be around anymore.

HAHA! GLORRRIIIOOUUUSUSUSUS

ONE MORNING YOUR GONNA WAKE UP W/ 500 NOTIFICATIONS AT 3 AM FROM ME HAHAHAHAHMWAHAHAHWJNBHDUASJK