PainfulGhostWriter

Hi guys I know I was supposed to update today but I am very very tired so I am sleeping the day away and just relaxing hopefully tomorrow I can update and I will post  a new book very very soon. 
          
          I love you and I hope that you are having a great day still be regal my Queens

Happy Valentine's day to all of the couples. May you enjoy it. :)

My brother death and funeral death anniversaries is arriving. If I withdraw myself I'm sorry. But coping with this is never easy. 
          
          Also stress brings out weird sex dreams. The fuck. ಠ_ಠ

I am thinking about going ghost for the rest of the year. Death keeps approaching my door. First my brother a few years ago, my aunt this year, two older women whom I had loved has died. Breakups keep happening and I glad I got the one I got. I know you say don't watch for the ball to drop. But I am not doing so. It's like I am trying to catch the ball but I am missing it. Can I have a coma now? Sleep for a few years and wake up in my 30s. 
          
          Just a thought. 

I love someone and I lost them. 
          I gave someone my all and I lost them. 
          This new person I am dating, she makes me happy. But I'm scared. For once in my life. I'm scared. What if it ends like it normally does. Getting so deep in love with her and suddenly it doesn't work out. Im tired of this shit but if dating her gives me hope then so be it. Because I am slightly happy again. Maybe this one will work out. But I am crying at work because this pain is too deep. Please someone give me the light in dating again. 

Life getting harder loves. I am buckled down but I am not ready for this ride. I am trying to screw my shit together but really it keep coming loose. Do I need a hammer or will that break the nail? Also is it ok to drink at 2AM in the morning. 

 #LLNana
          
          Ok so today we had buried you. Today we had said our last goodbye. I can't even shed tears auntie. But I miss you. I will keep on missing you. You was a woman full of love. I hope someday your love and my love can match. Rest now my love until we see each other again. 
          
          But since you have been buried...  The question arises how do I want my story to end. Where do I want to be buried? Who will my home church be? So many questions with unanswered things. But I will write about it later in my journal. 
          
          
          Tip of the day: Find a spouse who will die alongside you with tears in their eyes like my uncle brown did with my aunt val. 

Love is a drug and since she is absent I am going through withdrawals. She was my addiction and now I can't get my fix. Why? Why must she be taken away from me again? Why must our love be severed? The only memories I have is good but the message that was saved is bad. 3 days love and counting. Oh how I wish that you was back. 

Well January you have won this round.  Covid positive lol. February I will bounce back. Be prepared for a defeat. 

Checkmate life checkmate.
          You have taken the last hope from me. So congratulations on putting me on the set back track. Fuck you life. Fuck everything about it. 
          
          I love you auntie Val aka my third mom. May you rest in peace. Give a big ass kiss and hug to antuwan for me.