Bro Douche ™

damn that’s pretty toxic

let me seep into your bones and rot you from the inside out
          let me hold you in my cradle and rock you until you feel dizzy and nauseous 
          let me kiss you with poison on my lips until you’ve had so much you’re immune
          
          i’m 18 fucking years old writing the same pathetic, self-degrading, love poem to the same girl i knew when i was 13
          after 5 years of running away only to run back, you realize you’ve been running in a circle
          maybe that’s why i threw instead of ran in track and field
          if i could throw you far enough away from me, would it be possible to finally lose your scent?
          finally possible to let go my adolescent feelings for the one who is my polar opposite 
          isn’t that what attracted me to you though?
          your sharp tongue and eyes could slice my soft chest open and i’d stuff the wound with poor words like these
          
          words aren’t bandages, what a terrible lesson i had to learn
          you always tried to teach me things. how to communicate, how to be truthful, how to listen
          that last thing never worked out for me, huh?
          if i knew then what i know now, i wonder if i could’ve patched the holes before they became bigger 
          
          i’m ranting at 2am, in october, in college
          this season always brings me back to you
          i’m always sad during this season
          is it you? or are you the cure that i never let sink in before ripping out the tube?
          
          i’m pretty sure we’re terrible for each other
          we’ve proved that a lot of times, i think
          
          but sometimes i wonder how it would feel to be bad with you, to be sick with you, to love you
          
          again

let’s sneak to text and sneak to see each other because our relationship was wrong, again
          let’s dump all our trauma on the table, sorry, all my trauma on the table and try and sort the shit from the dirt, again
          let’s obsess over each other, again, shit maybe let ME obsess over you again
          man, that makes me sound like i’m crucifying you to words you’ve never said. i’m not trying to make you look like the bad guy, again, i swear. 
          but, anyway, please
          let’s write all our feelings out for all our friends to see but never say directly to each other, again
          let’s break each other down even though we’re so sure we’re building each other up, again
          let’s apologize profusely after spitting nasty words at each other and pretend like the same conversation won’t be had tomorrow, again

Also, I know this might be really petty or dumb or whatever 
          
          But if someone from Greece stumbles across this:
          
          I hope you’re doing better 

Reason One to purchase a juul:
          
          Nicotine addiction combats appetite

Electric Love
          
          
          Is still triggering two years later

Safe foods are:
          
          Ice, water, and air xoxo I’m so full 

My Boy by Billie Eilish
          
          Yes please

Boys who wear makeup >>>>>> everything else

A couple weeks ago