Sooooo, despite conspiracy theories, I'm not actually dead (yes, yes that is the douchebag line I'd like to return with. satire is all I have now; that and grovelling excuses).
Apologies to anyone who cares or genuinely thought I'd joined Ash in the coma-realm; of explanations I have only one, and it's kind of lame and pathetic, but all I have. Before vanishing into the abyss, I was taking some dumb anti-acne meds and didn't read the accompanying pamphlet (moral lessons are abundant here kids) so I didn't know that there was a possibility that they'd essentially make me loopy :P Which, given my luck, they did, and I basically became a socially anxious ball of self-pitying angst for a couple months. I really should have dropped a message on here saying something like 'brb, possibly going nuts' but stuff like Wattpad made me all panicky and bleh - I did warn that this excuse was pathetic.
Anyway, off meds and now sane (or as sane as I ever was). For anyone I did worry or cruelly abandon in the middle of a conversation, I'm sorry for not dropping word to you. If anyone requires additional grovelling, it's my new superpower, so feel free to angrily rant at me as needed.
Also Ash. Poor guy's been in a coma a while huh... I'll try remedy that when I remember how words and sentences work :P