ParanoidAndroidK

Острва
          
          И шта ми је чинити,
          Када се вал што додирује твоје обале
          Врати плавом мору,
          На ком мој свет обитава.
          
          И, шта ти је чинити?
          Када се вал што напушта моја пристаништа
          Врати мору,
          Где се струје преплићу. 
          
          Фебруар, 2022.

With everything we say, yes, it’s true, we’re labeling ourselves. However, remaining silent is nothing but pure hypocrisy. And there is no other choice. Sometimes, it’s either speak up or be silent. It’s all about choosing between the two. I used to be silent, listening to some “friends” talking nonsense about some things I did or didn’t believe in. Thinking… Damn K, you better stay silent or this friendship is over. But… do these people even matter? 
          I understand that this world is facing a big crisis. Many people out there are having serious issues with their identities. The truth is, many of them are not even bad, they’re simply… weak. However, sometimes it’s better to just let go, especially if they’re the reason you’re stagnating. I’ve been there, done that. Especially when they envy you, they’re even extremely dangerous. So… dear friends, if there is anything I learned in 2021, it’s something you taught me Josh… It’s that letting go of these people and speaking up for what you believe in is always the right thing to do. You may lose “friends”, yes. But you will gain and attract the best, the ones that are MEANT for you. Only because you’re speaking up for WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN.

Has anyone messed you up so much that after you had suffered a lot (in both mental and physical dimension), you actually started changing for better? 

I don’t want you to attach yourself to me and end up getting hurt. Just like I don’t want to get attached to you or anyone else so easily and end up getting hurt again. But it seems to be inevitable. The more I talk to people, the more I realise that human interaction itself is inevitable. And people are different. By talking to someone, interacting with someone, we’re already devoting ourselves to these people. It’s literally taking the risk. Maybe that’s why so many people are so cold nowadays. They don’t want to get hurt.
          
          And I’m still comforting myself. How can I persuade myself that it’s not worth the risk?
          
          Even the cold facade hurts.

What have I been doing all this time?

And here I am again. The spring has come. It's very clear to me that this new spirit has arrived into the city. 
          
          But no.... I do not care about the green trees, blooming flowers or nice weather. I do not care about wonderful sunsets or this so called fresh air that gives me this damn life. The power of blooming, reaching the full potential... The unbearable beaty that surrounds me and keeps reminding me that I will never be able to reach the far lands from my dreams. All I have is reveries which make me unhappy. There is no reality in which I belong. Do not hate me because I hate. Do not hate people because they hate. Everyone has suffered injustice. But... Hate me because I'm sensitive and weak. Hate me because in the end... I always give up. That's why I hate myself.
          
          But you are also allowed to hate me... because I hate the time when Persephone leaves her husband bringing the fortune to your eyes... because I detest spring.

I miss you

Happy rebirth day! 

I'm going towards Ithaca but my journey isn't exciting so far.

"If only thoughts had an off switch..."