Hi. I have some serious things to talk about today. This greatly concerns my books, this account, and what will happen going forward from here.
As you may or may not know, I often struggle with the weight of depression and anxiety on my shoulders. I have tried and worked so hard as of late to get back into the swing of things, but so far nothing has worked. I plan my day out and end up either sleeping it through or spacing out while doing the little things.
I’ll forced myself awake and then almost completely pass out due to exhaustion, or I’ll sleep for 12+ hours in one 24 hour day. I don’t have the motivation for anything anymore. I’ll fix a big meal, eat two bites, and have to put the rest either in the fridge or down the trash because I’m just not hungry enough to even think about food.
I am not considering suicide, and I want to make that clear. I just lost my appetite. Literally and figuratively. I no longer enjoy anything, I just want to lay in one spot all day and do nothing.
This happens on and off. I’ll fall into slumps like this one, and loose focus on everything. And any tiny bit of stress sends me over the edge. But then, I have the periods of extreme motivation and energy.
Meds aren’t working anymore, I don’t like talking about it, and I’m basically a sock that’s been tucked under the dresser at this point.
How does this tie into my account though?
I have great creativity, and I so desperately want to write for you all, but I sit down and look at my screen and just don’t do anything. Eventually, I’ll turn off my device, phone or computer, and just lay back down.
With that said, all of my books are on hold. I don’t know when I will be back, or if I will. I hope to have your full support in this.
Thank you guys for reading. I hope to come back with better news.
~Ava~
