@ShailynJ Thanks for your text and all the advice. I'm not going to delete this message because i (and any others on the same boat) can always come back to read this to help us move forward. 
            Right now, I am just moving on autopilot,  focusing on getting work done and taking care of everything singlehandedly. Reading romance doesn't feel good and swooning anymore.  And when it's all quiet after the little one has gone to bed.. the tears slip out. I am more angry with myself for being in denial and not seeing the signs sooner... but they do tell us to be kind to ourselves, something I am still struggling with.  But reading your message does give me hope and reassurance. I appreciate you sharing your experience. Thank you, so much!  

I promise they will adjust. Short term it’s difficult. Long term it’ll be worth it. Be the best person you can be first, so you can be the best mother next. Focus on healing!!!! That is the biggest, if you do not see and understand the lessons of how you got where you are, you will repeat them. You don’t want another man and be in the same position, or another situation that has the same outcome. Learn from your past and then let it go. Focus on being and doing better in the present. Forgive yourself. Talk, talk, talk I a care if it’s to yourself, in your diary but let it out. The pain, the fears and worry, your hopes. Don’t tell others everything, keep things to yourself. If you can get a therapist. If not back to a journal.  I moved from my parents home, got my own place (never had my own, we were together as teens). Put myself in school (in my last year and then I’m licensed!) and truly doing something I NEVER thought I would do, was always interested but being a wife and mother (breastfeeding, sahm, money) and anything else convinced me I couldn’t/shouldnt. I’m proud of myself, my kids are proud, and I know they will be even more when they are older and are able to fully understand everything I did for is. I’m in a new environment with a great community of people around me. You got this. I’m always here if you need someone to talk to

Working out as much as it sucks creates oxytocin (happy hormone). Have those things on a list and in the back of your mind, do when life is inevitably life-ing, you have things you can do to Kai you balanced mentally. Keep most, if not all goals to yourself and celebrate them when you accomplish them. Focus on each day, not the past (unless it’s to see the lessons you missed), not the future if it causes anxiety. Day by day. Mini goals for the day can (1-3).  Stay away and don’t argue with anyone who thinks you should be doing differently if separating is really what is best. (Had a grandmother I am extremely close to try to convince me to work it out, just stressed me out more and frustrated me, I needed support in the way that worked for me).  Understand you are going to have moments that you think about going back even if you know it’s not best, especially if you see that it’s hard for your kids. Stick it out though.

@Gracie8deto Thanks for giving it a try. :)

@Gracie8deto Thanks! It's in my library now... Will certainly check it out and comment.

@Mamour258 Hello!  

@PedigreePup Looking forward to your thoughtful comments, waiting for you to read and thanks for replying.

@Blinkie19 Thanks! The summary sounds exciting! I've put it in my reading list and will check it out soon! Thank you!