Darkest Consciousness

Might screw around and make a new paw patrol fanfiction 

<3
          
          Haven’t heard from you in a while but I know there’s still a couple things we have in common and that’s hating the past lol

It really is, the good old days of this community.

@mc_kelpburger 

Longing. Nostalgia. Regret maybe. I ponder this over the last few days.
          
          I was young, 12, and had come to the conclusion of some things. While a good few were friends, another good few had influences that were illegal. 
          
          I remember one guy, he used Nick as his persona, manipulated me into become his pet. Swore he'd kill himself. Hell, a lot of people did that to me. 17-20 years old THAT was always the range. 
          
          I'd put my foot down and everyone would come crawling and threatening to end their lives. 
          
          Ha, fuck....
          
          I'm older now. Wiser. And as I look back I frown a little bit. I don't think this place was as good as I thought. Friends who asked for sexual favors or gave into the hormonal desires of an immature child. 
          
          I'll give it this, however, as if not for those experiences I wouldn't have figured out that I lacked sexual attraction to men. I found out that I was lesbian via roleplays of being forced to be pregnant. That any male character I had sexually projected had female characteristics. 
          
          I can thank wattpad for trauma. For stress. But also for me figuring out that this world is full of liars and assholes and people who will use you for sex, or greed, or fame. I grew a fucked up expectation of relationships. 
          
          Sigh sigh sigh
          
          But there was good. Yes, there were good things. Fellow authors who were older who helped me write better and not faster. True mentors who gave me guidance rather than masturbation or coming back because you knew I was desperate for a relationship of any kind. 
          
          Hah, I've been "cheated" on by "boyfriends" many times on here. 
          
          Whatever, I may make this my new thing. Random little tracks for folks to read and analyze.

Almost our birthday... Please atleast be here when or before that 'cause we miss you so damn much!

I love you're Paw Patrol fan fiction keep it up! :D 

So yeah, got an art book out now. Thought I should considering I distanced myself from Deviantart for the time being. Check it out when y'all have the chance.
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/158035860

 To like the two people who care. 
          
          
          
          I think I'm doing a come back

The end of an era:
          I no longer feel at home here. Everything I've worked for is nothing. 
          I've moved on.
          I've found a new fandom with people who are loving and willing to stand together.
          I've left this a blank tomb
          Even if no one noticed
          A cracked shell while the true structure had been destroyed.
          The Paw Patrol Fandom no longer brings joy to me.
          The trauma and time wasted wasn't worth it.
          Any friends I once knew are silent.
          Every ounce of work thrown away.
          I have no reason to to stay anymore. 
          My account will still be up.
          I will read if willing but will not update.
          I will not vote
          I will not message. 
          If you wish to reach you must find it
          My Tumblr? My Deviant Art? My Skype? 
          Only to be given to those willing to care.
          Goodbye