KaylaBabs
Hi
I read your Maury experience. I felt that you have a lot to give as a writer but your story needs a lot of help or editing.
I haven't read the other ones to see if it's written in the same style to make a judgement.
But based on that story. I would think that you need to ensure that you work with your grammar or spelling.
Mine is not to great as well a work in progress as well.
I understand where your coming from with the language that your characters are using as you are spelling them the slag term in which they are spoken.
However in the person narrative you have to correct it to the proper spelling. I use to do that till someone pointed it out to me as well. If the word is not being spoken in speech or being written as like a paper segment that is needed for the story. Like you copied blackmail letter into your story.
Then you put the correct spelling. Not telling you how to do your business it was a wonderful story and I read it to the end.
But personally I would make the chapter longer and more independent. Then again it was about the Maury show
I was thinking of writing a chapter on it in my book that is how I came upon yours story. For ideas on how people write it.
Any ways. Have a good day. You can have a rant at me if you like. But no malice was intended. Just author to author talk
Xx Kayla babs
