Greetings, mellon! Rest yer feet, weary Wattpad traveler! I'll give ye a place to stay the night, entertainment, too! Sit down, let me tell ye a story.
Once upon a time, there was an insane elf. She was a pyromaniac as well as a kleptomaniac, and she enjoyed combining her two passions by stealing peoples' possessions and lighting them on fire. Yup, that's me! She also stalked Legolas Greenleaf with her friend Vertala_Greenleaf. She was obsessed with many different obsessions, including Starkid, Lord of the Rings, Disney, musicals of all sorts, and knives, among other strange things. 
Some things the strange elf enjoyed were laughing with her friends, bursting into song at completely inappropriate times, and downloading extremely random pictures to her computer and phone.
Some things the elf disliked were the smell of seaweed, nails on chalkboards, and that feeling you get when you turn a page of a book and it rasps against your fingers. 
One day the elf was tired of her friends all bugging her to get a Wattpad account. So she got one. She entered a magical land of witches, wizards, and magical beasts, where her friends created magical worlds with her, and set things on fire virtually. And they all lived happily ever after.
Oh, look at the time! Looks like we should be settin' off to bed. I'll show ye to yer room. Come on now, up these stairs and take a right. That's it.
Good night!