Poisoned34

IS JESUS A HOMOSEXUAL 

Hot Threat:
          Whisper in my ear, “Baby if you think you can get away with acting like this just because we’re with my friends, I well tell you right now that I’m not afraid to bend you over my lap and spank you in front of them all. Behave. Now.”

Before you kiss a girl:
          -grab her waist
          -pull her close to your body
          -look into her eyes
          -look at her lips while biting yours
          -look back at her eyes again
          -grab her face gently 
          -than slowly lean in and kiss
          
          *It will drive her crazy, I promise 

What the gesture means: 
          •holding hands:we definitely love each other
          •slap on the ass: that’s mine
          •holding on tight: I don’t wanna let go
          •looking into each other’s eyes: I just plain love you
          •playing with hair: tell me you love me
          •arms around waist: I love you to much to let go
          •laughing and kissing: I’m completely comfortable with you

What the kiss means:
          •on the stomach: I’m ready
          •on the forehead: I hope we are together forever 
          •on the ear: your my everything
          •on the cheek: we’re friends
          •on the hand: I adore you
          •on the neck: we belong together
          •on the shoulder: I want you
          •on the lips: I love you

Word of advice: don’t try singing “Welcome to the Black parade” when eating a pop tart 
          (NOTE: YOU WILL CHOKE AND MOST LIKELY DIE)

Update on project “Forever Alone”: now I’m singing and dancing to “Touch A Touch A Touch A Touch Me” from Rocky horror picture show while eating pop-tarts and wearing pig slippers

I just realized I’m never gonna get married, because who’s gonna want to marry a girl who sings Disney songs into a hairbrush while wearing captain America boxers and a Harry Potter sweatshirt 

IMAGINE YOUR OTP:
          Person A: how can someone say person B is evil?? They’re the most precious soft little soul
          Person B:*wiping blood off their face* YEAH, IM ADORABLE 

“Lie to me again” she whispered.
          
          “I love you” he said.