About me: 

1.  asexual bibliophile.
2. jelly and ice cream are disgusting. Seriously.
3. I love jokes and puns.
4. I put a lot of pressure on myself.
5. Sometimes I feel so happy I don't know what to do with myself so I'll end up wiggling around like a worm high on drugs.

There's something so captivating and lovely about writing or reading something which doesn't make sense. Sometimes. It's like reassurance that not everything has to make sense; have a meaning.
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DO NOT copy or plagiarise any of my work - it's no use changing the character's name and saying, 'Yep, that's my story!'
DO NOT leave any hateful, hurtful or rude comments.

DO leave kind and supportive comments.
DO let me know if someone's copied my work.
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Whenever you're feeling down:

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
Did you hear about that great new shovel?It's ground breaking.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
It's a shitzu.
I wondered why the basketball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went . Then it dawned on me.
I tried to catch some fog. I mist. 
Broken pencils are pointless.
"What did the egg do when it saw the pan?" - It scrambled.
What do you call a bee that comes from America?  A USB.
After an explosion at a French cheese factory... all that was left was de brie.
"What do you call an alligator in a vest?" - An investigator.

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
He pasta away. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. How sad that he ran out of thyme. 
Sending olive my prayers to the family. His wife is really upset. Cheese still not over it. You never sausage a tragic thing. It's such a shame good people have to die fusilli reasons.
It was farfalle from grace.