Filip

I guess I started using this thing like a diary, just to get things off my chest. Maybe I should've just made a wattpad entry for venting but that's something that can be edited and changed. That's why this is better. It's raw, I guess.
          
          Life has been stale lately. There's little things to look forward to. There's always the little things; it's what keeps a man sane. Alas, life has been stale.
          
          I enjoy playing football. I enjoyed it. I tore my meniscus recently. I have to undergo knee surgery if I ever want to play again. Life without football sucks. One less little thing to look forward to. It was a big little thing.
          
          I started fishing again. I don't think there's any correlation between being torn from football and getting back into fishing. It just conveniently happened at a similar time. Still, I can't help but compare the two. Fishing is fun, I enjoy it. It's another little thing.
          
          Alas, football was a big little thing. The biggest of them all.

I've been struggling financially the past couple of weeks. It made me think about my deceased grandparents and all that they did back when I was a kid to make ends meet. They always tried their best to hide from us the fact that we were struggling. Though my brother and I knew.
          
          In particular, today I remembered my grandma's noodle and bean soup which she made during really bad days. Bean soup on its own was always the poor/working man's dish as it was cheap and filling. Adding noodles wasn't conventional, but it made the dish more filling.
          
          I often refused to eat it as a kid. Even nowadays, I still wouldn't eat it, I think. Even though I love bean soup by itself.
          
          It must've been disheartening for my grandmother. Cooking the only dish you can and the kids refuse to eat it. It breaks my heart.
          
          I'm gonna finish my plate of beans and go visit their grave.

I'm about to complete volume 2 of Isekai Losers. The material definitely needs a good revision which I'll do once I'm actually done with v2. Also, the two volumes are absolutely massive, over 160k words between the two. I fear the word count is a bit overwhelming and should be split up into more volumes for a smoother reading experience. I might do that.
          
          I don't know how far I'll take this story. To be honest, This is like 10% of what the story actually is and I've been writing it for like 4 years now so IDK if I'll ever finish or if it's good enough for people to read it, so sometimes it feels like a fools errand.
          
          Writing makes me happy, though.

I need a cigarette

bet it will be so funny reading these in a couple years time when im a world renowned person in some field haah

we're so close to the third month of the year and I haven't finished writing something I thought would be done in january 

feeling uninspired about the story ur supposed to write while getting a gazillion ideas about random ass stories gotta be worse than having a regular writers block istg

Jaka čorbica na mas

Not even 23 and time is already immeasurably more valuable to me than money

Finding motivation to write is difficult sometimes. People are motivated to do things because of a reward system, whether it's a reward you give yourself or a reward in form of money (at work), acquiring skills etc.
          
          What is a reward you receive as a hobby writer? There isn't much hope of making it big (though it exists!!!) and the long-term joy of having finished your work someday doesn't always cut it .
          
          People really need some quick bursts of appreciation every now and then to keep going. I'm happy to say I have someone who reads my work and gives me proper feedback. Without them I probably wouldn't have written half the amount I did until now, so I'm eternally grateful.
          
          No matter what you do in life and what goals you set for yourself, it's okay to seek validation during the journey from people close to you!! You want them to share your joy and you want them to be proud of you, so make sure they have a reason to be!