Filip

I quit smoking recently, or so I say. It's difficult. I'm trying to be the best version of myself that I can be. Of course, there are some regrets from the past no amount of effort can fix, but I try.
          
          I hurt a lot of people; not physically. I am an emotional leech, draining people of energy. I'm trying to fix that as well. Fix it by distancing myself from people before I can hurt them, because otherwise I can't help it. I'm a loser.
          
          Sometimes it's easier to make someone hate you than to apologize. 'Sorry' doesn't cut it, usually. Giving them a good reason to hate you—exposing yourself as the piece of shit that you are—it helps them a lot more, I think. It justifies their resentment, makes cutting ties easier.
          
          I do sometimes wish I could pour my heart out, though. Make them understand me, make me understand them. Then both of us can walk away with something. Something positive.

I need a cigarette

bet it will be so funny reading these in a couple years time when im a world renowned person in some field haah

we're so close to the third month of the year and I haven't finished writing something I thought would be done in january 

feeling uninspired about the story ur supposed to write while getting a gazillion ideas about random ass stories gotta be worse than having a regular writers block istg

Jaka čorbica na mas

Not even 23 and time is already immeasurably more valuable to me than money

Finding motivation to write is difficult sometimes. People are motivated to do things because of a reward system, whether it's a reward you give yourself or a reward in form of money (at work), acquiring skills etc.
          
          What is a reward you receive as a hobby writer? There isn't much hope of making it big (though it exists!!!) and the long-term joy of having finished your work someday doesn't always cut it .
          
          People really need some quick bursts of appreciation every now and then to keep going. I'm happy to say I have someone who reads my work and gives me proper feedback. Without them I probably wouldn't have written half the amount I did until now, so I'm eternally grateful.
          
          No matter what you do in life and what goals you set for yourself, it's okay to seek validation during the journey from people close to you!! You want them to share your joy and you want them to be proud of you, so make sure they have a reason to be! 
          
          

The end of book 2 of Isekai Losers felt so unreachable at the start of the year. Now here I am, only 8 or so chapters away. That's still a months worth if work, but I know I can do it.
          
          Once I'm done, I can finally review and revise everything I've done in the earlier chapters. I can start working towards a proper main plot ie allign book 1 with what I've been doing in book 2 (yes I know it should be the other way around).
          
          Also I will fix up the (ridiculous amout of) typos in book 1 and use my improved vocabulary to one up my 2021/22 self.
          
          It's all a buncha work that'll take time I'd rather spend on book 3, but it's something I have to do instead of begging anyone who stumbles upon the story to bear with me cuz it gets better later 
          
          NO. It gets better NOW.
          
          Thanks for listening my online friends and happy holidays :D

probably reading