I am a potato. 
I was born in the ground and when I emerged I learned how to read. I was unique and they didn't like me for it. They sent me to a factory and I was forced endured horrible torture where I was peeled and shredded and packaged in plastic and sent to a shop. There I sat, in the cold, staring intently at the white electronic lights as humans went backward and forward. One day, I awoke as the lights were turned on. I sat and wired and I was soon greeted with a awful sight: a human standing there looking at me. Suddenly I was whisked high up into the air and into a cage-on-wheels. 
The next thing I remember was waking up to a different sort of light. Then the knife struck. I watched in horror as my brothers and sisters were torn away from me in a cascade of plastic and a flurry of limbs. I was the only one spared. I was cast down into the dirty floor and kicked around. 
I was soon found by a kind creature, a cat. He picked me up gently in his jaw and carried me to a land that I had long forgotten: the earth. 
Over weeks i  was composted. But it has brought me strength and I feel a new life burn inside of me. I was lucky. The hard ship I have faced has not brought me down, and I can live again. 
I have but one mission on earth : to destroy those who have taken my brothers and sisters. And so I need your help. Destroy the vegans. They are murderers.

                    -a potato