PraisePizzaRolls

I’ve never felt so helpless (somewhat exaggerated)
          
          
          I want to cry & go to bed and never see tomorrow.
          
          I didn’t think my best friend could make me feel so dumb.

I just learned that apparently your supposed to drink enough to the point you have to go to the bathroom 6-8 times a day *crying emoji* 😭
          
          This is a nightmare when ur in college ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE A ROOMMATE.

Lowkey college has been fine so far
          
          Classes haven’t started yet but I’ve been hanging out with my roommate and met some people on the floor of my dorm room!
          
          They’re pretty peak people ^^

Warning: Little vent and for anyone who’s even checking my account without this being announced, it’ll sound like I’m holding myself accountable for a “self cancelation”, but thats not what’s happening.
          
          I’ve spent a majority of my life using the excuse of “I’m just a kid/teen” and not being held accountable for the shit I’ve done. 
          
          But being 18 (and technically labeled an adult) has made me realized, that by doing that I’ve scrubbed myself even remotely being considered responsible.
          
          I’m not responsible at all. I’ve blamed all of my issues on being a kid/teen that I’ve never ever learned how to be a responsible person. I’ve blamed most of my issues on my parents, when I’m reality most of it was my fault. 
          
          I made messes, and blamed my parents for not teaching me better, but I never bothered to teach myself when they failed. I continued to ignore and deny any and all responsibility for the things I did and refused to do.
          
          But now that I’m going to be on my own for a bit during college, I won’t be able to create excuses. I’ll have to be responsible, and hold myself accountable for any of the things I do there. There will be no one to blame BUT myself.

I’m not ready for college bc I’ll feel bad if I leave all my stuffed animals behind

MY FAV BAND THE CRANE WIVES ARE COMING TO MY CITY AND THE TICKETS ARE SO CHEAP!
          
          I genuinely want to see them but I’m so fucking broke *broken heart + wilted rose*

I got my AP Art score back, and I kinda just dont want to touch art ever again because of it.
          
          And I think I’m really disappointed about it because, I was using it as a way to grieve my dad. So it kinda feels like college board said “Fuck you” to both me and my dad.

I’m so worried about college :<
          
          My college is like in a different city and I’m going to have to live in the dorms. It’s scary thinking about it but I wasn’t too worried, since I was supposed room with my best friend from high school. 
          
          Key words “was supposed to” I ended up with a different person as my roommate… I’m so cooked *broken heart + wilted rose emoji*

Happy pride month to all my fruity followers <333

So uh. 5 days ago was the 1 year anniversary of my dads death. Yesterday after my soccer game I cried. Partially because I realized that April 2nd was the day we had to take him off of life support. And in a bit it’ll be the anniversary of the day we buried him.