music pls

Me: ok so i just ate my 3rd meal of the day i can't eat anymore so I'll go and play with the kittens
          
          My grandpa: I made soup from the disgusting leftovers
          
          Me: No thanks i'm full
          
          Grandpa: *throws a metal spoon at me*
          
          Me: *tries not to cry but cries anyway*
          
          Grandpa: D I S G U S T A N G

Who are you and why am I following you?
          Sorry I have a shit memory. 

GUYS OH MY GODD
          So I woke up this morning and went to insta and the FIRST thing I see os the OFFICAL TRAILER FOR LITTLE NIGHTMARES TWO SJFHSKDDK
          
          BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY:
          SIX TOOK HER HOOD OFF
          THERE ARE NO UGLY FAT PPL
          SCHOOL???
          Probably an asylum/school
          AND A NEW FRIENDDDDDFFFFGJFJV
          
          sorry i'm just so excited

My mom: *brings me a dress from the 80s*
          
          Mom: Try it on
          
          Me: *swallows my pride and tries it on*
          
          Me: I don't like it
          
          Mom: I'm disowning you
          
          
          I mean this is not about what I want, because I can keep my mouth shut and just go with it. This is about my fucking dignity, mom.
          I would lose the little respect the world had for me if I even stepped outside for a second in that neon pink shoulder padded cocktail dress. 

Ok so my dad has 3 giant doggos (irish wolfhound) and I took one of them on a walk during a festival in our city and let me tell you I felt like a QUEEN!
           Adults, children, elders, teens, all would look at doggo and go "das an elephant" and yes it really got tiring if people tried to pet him or when another (smaller) dog would walk up and start barking (bitch please)
          But in the end, even my friends and classmates would come up to me and pet my doggo

*Toko's and Komaru's first date*
          
          Toko: So, uhh, you liked the steak?
          
          Komaru: Yeah! It was like a meat party in my mouth!
          
          Toko:
          
          Komaru:
          
          Komaru: .Let me rephrase that.. 

I am terrified of spiders
          And it doesn't help that just now I spotted a giant boi in the bathroom sink
          
          Brb currently burning my house down

So today I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the bathroom
          I was terrified so I called my mom
          Something like this happened
          
          Spider:
          
          Me: SKFBSKDVDODUSLk
          
          Me and my acarophobic ass: MOOOOM
          
          My mom, who probably eats spiders for breakfast: *heavy russian accent*
           It just little dust 
          *squeezes the spider between her fingers*
          

Guysss
          It's 22:21 here and I am panicking
          So I'm in bed and on phone but randomly I see white spots in the room
          But when I turn to look at them they disappear only to reappear when I turn back
          So I had a plan to use my phone flashlight
          Whenever I'd see a white figure I'd not look at it and just turn on the flashlight but no one's there
          Pls send halp 

Souda: So, you from heaven?
          
          Sonia: Yeah, I'm a ghost who died fifteen years ago, just like that pickup line