PucePu55y

Hello again my lovely pu55ers :( (sad face) I have terrible news :,,,,( (crying face) I can't sue the WATTPAD MAFIA for DISCRIMINATING against me and not giving me MONEY!!!!! sigh... (dot dot dot) another year without the bajillion $$$ (dollar sign dollar sign dollar sign)  I DESERVE for my AMAZING writing!!!!! No one understands me... (dot dot dot) sigh (sigh) :( (sad face)
          I know my MILLIONS of RICH, ADORING fans are somewhere out there TIED UP and DECEIVED by the WATTPAD MAFIA >:( (angry face)!!!!! I will find you all I prommy (promise)!!! Then you can FINALLY give me the MONEY and FAME I DESERVE!!!!!
          Toodles~

Hello, my lovely pu55ers!!! Sry (Sorry) 4 (for) not posting lately :( (sad face) It's just sooooo hard to be motivated when I'm not getting $$$ (dollar sign dollar sign dollar sign) for my AMAZING work!!! The Wattpad Mafia hates me :,,,,( (crying face) and STILL won't FIX the GLITCH keeping my MILLIONS of FOLLOWERS and DOLLARS away!!! This is dicrimination!!! I'm calling my LAYWER!!! Wattpad Mafia, ur (you are) going DOWN!!!!!!!
          Toodles~

Hello again wattpad :( (sad face) I opened my cumputer today to see my 1 million ADORING fans but they're NOT HERE :O (shocked face) I'm still at 2 followers :( (sad face) and I haven't made ANY $$$ (dollar sign dollar sign and dollar sign)!!! NO ONE has given me a BOOK DEAL yet ;-; (crying face) clearly I've been SHADOWBANNED by the WATTPAD MAFIA >:( (angry face) Wattpad please fix this bug I want money- I mean readers!!! I need readers to read my AMAZING writing so I can get MONEY!!!
          Toodles~

Welcum to the show, WeirdKittenn!!!!! Congrats (congratulation) for being my 2nd follower!!!!! I hope you <3 (heart) what we- I mean I have in store ;))) (winky face) I'll try to remember you when I'm FAMOUS, but I can't promise I will XD (laughing face) You shoulda been follower #1 if you want the clout LOL (lots of love) Thx 4 (thanks for) the follow!!!!! Toodles~

LOL (lots of love) for my FIRST EVER FOLLOWER, Nervous_Nerd!!! WOW (wow)!!! Welcum to my library of AMAZINGNESS!!! Don't be nervous, nerd (HA get it? get it? Do you get it? ). I'll remember you when I'm FAMOUS!! I prommy (promise) .
          For being my VERY FIRST FOLLOWER, you get 0.0001% of my profits!!!! JK (just kidding) it's all mine. HANDS OFF!!!! Hahaha (laughing).
          Toodles~

Hello Wattpad! I'm SO excited to join the cummunity  I can't WAIT for you ALL to see the rare pairs I have 4 u (for you)  Thx (thank you) ALL for the 1 million followers, book AND movie deals, and MONEY you'll give me for my AMAZING writing  cu l8ter (see you later)! Toodles~