Hey, to anyone reading. It's, like, 4:00 in the morning right now and I've been up since 1. I'm currently sitting on an old fold-up chair that reeks of smoke and drinking some mountain dew that a stranger gave me. I guess I'm just kinda lonely and contemplative and I feel like I should explain something about myself.
I hate the cold. It makes me shiver in uncomfortable ways and it hurts whenever I stay still for too long. Even so...it helps me. Whenever the winter comes and it gets cold and rainy and wet, I'm able to cry outside without worrying that someone will see me at my weakest and I can feel as the heat of a thousand centipedes crawling underneath my skin is simmered out by the biting chill of the long nights. And like I said, I don't like to feel cold. I don't like to feel the pain but when the anxiety settles into my core and threatens to rip apart the rest of my emotions, suddenly the cost of pain doesn't seem so bad.
So, to repeat my previous statement, I hate the cold.
But I also love it.
That's all I needed to say. Thank you.
