*You see a glint in the dark, suddenly a bullet whizzes by you, a whistle of death flying by your ear, then a green shadow steps out of the darkness*

...Well, well, well... what do we have here? *gasp* You came here by your own free will? Well I'm flattered. No one visits unless they're forced to... Aww come on what's with the face? You know I'm just joking right? ...no? Well we can fix that. Well don't just stand there come on in, I rarely get visitors so make your self at home... here have a cup of tea... you want sugar with that? Perhaps some milk?  ...no? Well I like your taste already... what's that? You care here for a story? Well I'm not the best storyteller but ok... which one then? Pick one from the top shelf and I'll read it to you... Oh? You've already picked? Well then take a seat and hand me the book... Oh this story huh? Well then... *pushes glasses up, light glinting of the lenses*

...It's Showtime...