𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐝'𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐨⠀ ... .ᐟ⠀

"...Worry and fear can be valuable instruments to push us into working to be our best versions as well, after all. But... I should definitely tell you to remember that feeling. That love and passion that got you into playing and hold onto it? Because our happiness is all that *really* matters in the end? I... you know... you've been to that bad place, and you overcame the difficulties. You won't be facing that again, you won't. But I can hear your mental protests right now, so let's pretend that's a possibility: you overcame it once. If it happens again, you'll overcome it twice. Because you're the most resilient and determined person I know." he smiled playfully then, although it was fleeting, it was there to try and make him smile too, when he teased: "And you can be pretty stubborn too! And hey," he chuckled a little. "That's also one of the many things I love about you."

The keeper moved their locked hands when his partner hesitated, intertwining their fingers carefully — he put on a small, but encouraging smile to his boyfriend, before his eyebrows furrowed slightly with concentration as he listened further. He let a moment of silence settle between them, and when he spoke, it wasn't a direct answer to what the midfielder was saying, but totally connected to it all still. "Remember when we were kids? — Well, not *we*, because we obviously didn't know each other back then... anyways, you'll get it the further I try and explain it —" he shook his head and started over: "*Remember when we were kids*, when we played football only because that's what we really loved doing? There was no pressure — from media, from the supporters, not even the club... not the way we experience now, anyways —, we just... I think that's the kind of mindset we should bring back when walking on the pitch. Because if we enjoy ourselves, and we try to block out any other thought that has nothing to do with the *present*, everything is bound to work out, you know? Getting rid of the weight of all these responsibilities when on the pitch, only with the obligation of *enjoying* it. I don't know about you... but I often forget to do that. We automatically 'flip the switch' in your brains, and it's like, we convince ourselves that it's your *job*. What we chose to do for a living. And as such, the results are more important than having fun, or if... like... in order to have success, we shouldn't have fun at all, and neither of those thoughts are true," the Scouse paused, looking deeply in those eyes he adored. "I can't tell you not to worry or not to be scared, because that's not how it works..."
            
            (1/2)

   there was something so moving about that tone—  so serious and heartfelt in a way that told tom that he wasn't just saying it.  he wasn't just trying to say the most helpful thing,  maybe jon truly believed it.  the idea isn't too far-fetched,  the goalkeeper had a tendency to say things with conviction;  that was a fact that,  if anything,  had always made him so much more enticing since the beginning.  when their eyes were reconnected,  the midfielder could only give him a look of wide and vulnerable confirmation at the inquiries,  because he didn't quite trust his voice enough to answer straight away.  "you know what they're like,  though.  they liked me before,  england fans liked me too,  and then it just—"  he hesitated,  because at the time it felt as though everything had collapsed but he was supposed to be seeing that period of his life in a different light.  it was still difficult.  "y'know,  in those few years when everything felt like shit,  the scariest part was that i lost my love for football.  i didn't enjoy it and i was playing through this injury that hurt like a bitch and i thought i was gonna wither away in some low level european club.  and finding it again feels like i'm walking on thin ice 'cause i didn't realise it was a part of me i could lose."  every movement from jon held a softness in it that tom could easily find himself getting addicted to,  admittedly,  as he leaned in and rested his forehead against his boyfriend's shoulder.  "i know.  i love you."  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

  "i guess it is,  actually.  you're quite the catch nowadays."  tom would always sing jon's praises in any environment,  because he did look gorgeous in those jackets and tom always found himself at a loss for words when he saw him.  he adored the small gestures and the ways his expression changed and the little habits that were so him.  although,  he would make a case against his fifa argument,  because that game was great.  he often flaunted his  'team of the week'  or other special edition cards of himself on the game to jon and the other man would make that face that seemed like he was trying to look impressed but,  really,  he didn't quite get the point.  "there's a niche bit of social media somewhere that adores you.  i might see if i can join."  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

"You are the fashionable one," he agreed without needing to even think about it. "Though 'vintage' is quite trendy nowadays, innit?" he laughed a little at that, especially when he mentioned the jackets. "Don't they reinforce the 60s-70s aesthetic?" he inquired with a quirked eyebrow, watching him. He was glad that he was inspiring Tom to see the beauty in physical media. They'll be the only things to survive in case of an apocalypse! ...Just saying. It was just like football: it would always be infinite times better to play the real thing than playing those FIFA games. The actual things would always beat the digital, cyber, virtual (or whatever nomenclature was the most accurate) stuff.

   "admittedly cds are a little less old fashioned."  he conceded,  a small gesture of his hand to let him have that one.  besides,  he was beginning to understand the beauty of physical media—  he took advantage of it back in the day,  having a few cds and dvds but not enough to constitute a collection.  he'd never been particularly attached to them then,  but jon seemed to teach him a lot.  "hey,  you know i wouldn't hold it against you if you  *were*  that old fashioned.  it's cute,  it makes me feel like the fashionable one.  even though you've got a strong case with your jackets."  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

The 'convincing' part tended to be the *tricky* part. Deep down, they knew the other just wanted to help for the sake of helping. Not to imply that the other 'needed' it, just because they wanted to look after each other. However, moved by different reasons, it tended to be difficult for the one another to accept it. Tom had a very independent nature, and the keeper respected that, of course. He wanted to show him, though, that he wasn't *alone*. That he had someone he could count on, that would always have his back. As for Jon, well... the independency in which he tended to deal with things, was due how, too many times, in his childhood, he saw himself on his own to take care of his little sister. His uncle lived and worked a block away, so if it was an emergency, he could call him. But effectively, in the house, it tended to be just the two kids sometimes. So he developed an instinct to protect and do everything alone, and that included dealing with whatever was going on in his head as well. He couldn't worry his mother. He knew she was working hard to provide for them, and anything he said could affect her focus on her job. They understood each other, though, and they were very in sync... knowing just when and how to 'interfere' and assist. Instinctively. And that kind of connection was... quite beautiful, sincerely. He was a romantic, though! So of course he would think it was beautiful! "Perfect! I could definitely use a nap too, to be honest."

   the fact was that they could sit together,  look up each other,  and the silence was comforting rather than awkward.  they understood each other in such a way that everything was so comfortable and natural,  and tom absolutely adored the opportunities they got to remember how in sync they were with each other.  if they were cooking,  they did jobs that helped each other without getting in the way,  without even having to say anything.  even if,  sometimes,  they tended to have to convince each other that they could help.  "thank you."  he offered a smile,  because jon worried too much and the midfielder wanted to support his boyfriend in the same way he did for him.  "we can wash up later.  it's definitely nap time first."  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

It was just one, of the many things, that Jon loved about them. Those silent conversations that no one else could decipher but themselves — like they were sending the messages directly to each other's minds, without interference from the external world. He never thought how valuable it all could be, as well, the moment they started playing on the same side, for England. But it was easy to think that it would all occur to them naturally, as everything always seemed to do... the most important usage was, without a doubt, to convey and pick up messages that would've been really difficult to word out, otherwise. "Alright," he chuckled, nodding to him. "I'll do that."

@-NEVERALONE   /   HAPPY NEW YEAAAAR!!

  "my opinion is obviously the most important one."  he joked with a smile,  bringing his foot forward to teasingly nudge against jon's shin.  he was glad that he could give the keeper some confidence,  because he was so good at everything and tom thought he should know that.  "don't worry about it.  it's my pleasure!"  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

"Ha!" he laughed a little at the suggestion of a chef hat, shaking his head fondly to him. "If you say so, I believe it," it's true. He stopped fretting over it the minute he heard the other say he liked it — it seems that Tom could inspire confidence in him under (plenty more) circumstances than just regarding football and he smiled at the praise. "Thank you, I'm glad you like it."

   he hummed an encouraging confirmation as he ate,  nodding his head and continuing on.  because it really was quite good,  and the homemade bit made it even better.  the idea that the keeper would go through such effort and the fact that they were eating it together?  all in all,  he adored it!  tom sent his boyfriend a look from across the table,  his head tilting as he hid his smile behind his hand.  "well,  it's lovely.  we should get you a chef hat."  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

   his eyes were always moving,  never able to find one thing to focus on—  yet,  with jon,  it was different.  even as a teenager he kept himself moving,  frantic eyes shifting as if to not allow people to notice the difference in his eyes.  because people got hung up on the whole thing,  asking him a million questions that he had no idea about.  because science was weird,  and he didn't know how to pronounce heterochromia back then.  but now?  it didn't even matter,  his focus could move away but he would always gravitate back towards jon.  because he wanted to look at him,  and he was desperate to have jon looking back.  "i can't believe i have you."  the sweetness of his boyfriend's words struck him,  an understanding of how lucky he was.  he laughed,  mostly out of elation at that fact,  eyes still reading each emotion and thought in jon's eyes and the lines of his face.  "i can't believe you're mine."  his hand on the side of the keeper's face moving to brush a thumb against his cheekbones and tilt his face to wherever tom wanted him and leaning up to kiss his cheek.  "while it's still a hypothetical,  i'm willing to pretend our wedding would be,  like,  fucking massive.  with every celebrity you've ever heard of in your life.  event of the century." 
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

"Yeah," he answered him, resting his weight on his forearms as he hovered over Tom — moving back just enough to look him in the eyes. He would smile, still finding it pretty crazy that he could still feel the wet trails left behind by his tears all over his cheeks, still very emotional despite the laughing — the tears could be back at anytime, if he let his guard down and didn't put on an effort to keep up with the teasing that had become so natural between the two of them that was *comforting*. You know, just like hearing an 'I love you', it was indeed one of their many love languages, after all. "Maybe. You're the only one I wanna marry too, for the record." he paused, just allowing himself a moment to look at him. Openly admire him, in the safety of their home. "I feel safe with you. I feel different when I'm with you... like only when we're together I'm allowed to be who I really am. Without a fear. I feel like the luckiest man alive, for having this. For having you, in my life. You're my warm sunlight. My sweet Angel. You're everything to me. So... I really wanna marry the hell out of you someday!" he said with a chuckle, copying the tone in which he had said it earlier. "Because I can't picture happiness without you. A future without you. Without the person who gave a new meaning to my life and made absolutely *everything* better. I flipping love you."

   ever since he was a teenager he was the kind of person that demanded attention.  and yet,  with so many eyes on him,  there was only really one person's attention that he sought out.  people knowing who you are is so much more intimidating when you suddenly get it on such a great scale,  and even with all those eyes on him he just wanted jon to look in his direction.  he just wanted to make jon laugh.  it all became so narrowed down in a way that felt so much safer,  because here he had the most beautiful and most talented man out there,  and he  *wanted*  him.  "yeah?"  he spoke through a shaky breath,  so caught up in the moment that he couldn't really bear thinking about anything else.  "you're biased.  but in this case i think i prefer that.  you're the only one i wanna marry,  promise."  he smiled teasingly into the kiss,  letting it go slower this time as he gently wound his arms around jon to pull him in,  even if-  again-  it wasn't necessary.  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

His hand would move up to cradle the back of Tom's head, holding him gently to him, while he was there hiding his smile against his cheek. The keeper let his free hand rub up and down Tom's back, affectionately, pressing a kiss to the side of his head later on. "You don't need to thank me, sweetheart. We all have our worries, it's normal. But we have each other's back, yes? Everything will be alright, always. I'm here *with* you, here *for* you."

   the only heartbeat tom could hear was his own,  but it was a noise he'd learned to drown out after it made itself known every time he was near the goalkeeper.  even a mere mention of him made his heart skip a beat,  even if admitting that made him sound like a teenage girl talking about take that.  when he pulled back from the kiss,  he pressed a peck to his cheek in a slow movement and lingered there—  eventually just hiding his smile against his boyfriend's cheek.  "thank you.  for stopping me before i freaked out over nothing earlier.  you're getting good at that."  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

...Unexpected, but in a delightful way. The keeper was more than ready to catch him in his arms when he took that step forward to close the distance between them, enveloping him in a warm hug as he responded to the kiss. His heart was beating so fast he could hear it — could it have reached Tom's ears too? He didn't spend too much time worrying about it, especially when there was something — or better saying, someone — there who was much more worthy of his attention.

// LOVEEEE this whole chaotic, sibling banter and energy hahaha his poor mother, though — Jon would be more than happy to keep talking with her and help blocking them out, while still managing to pick bits and pieces of their banter to joke about with him afterwards.
            AND THAT'S SOOO SWEET !! his mother is sooo <333
            Jon's mother would also love Tom from the start, for she would be able to pick up from the way they interacted with each other that they really love and take care of each other — and that's all she ever wanted for her children <333 she would totally spoil him, bake him treats when she knows they're coming to visit and stuff...
            AND OMGGG, I suppose that even something as simple as Uno would be a wild competition, especially between the twins — AND I LOVE ITTT !!!! HAHAHA 

@-NEVERALONE   /   plsss and then amelia and thomas would start endlessly shoving each other over who would look "better" with the coat and the previous argument is forgotten.  they are such children it's so funny.  then their mum would huff and sigh and grumble and just keep up conversation with jon to try and drown them out bc theyre incorrigible.  she wld loooove to talk to him anyway bc she just KNOWS that tom needs someone to look after him sometimes and almost through motherly instincts she can see how kind jon is to him. like at first, when her and amelia are meeting jon, i think she'd notice the way jon comforts tom's anxieties (sometimes without words) and she goes "ok, this is someone that knows what my son is like sometimes and doesn't shame him for that"
            
            think so much abt them all getting together after retirement for like parties and board games. theyre just all a big family. 

// omggg, that's soooo good !! just imagined him with his arm linked with Tom's mother, listening to her as they walked — the twins making fun of each other ahead of them. Tom casually looks back at him, Jon smiles to him and winks, just before raising his voice and telling him 'I think her coat is great, I just think you're jealous you wouldn't look as good wearing it', a whole joke with the fact of them being *twins* and looking exactly the same !!!! while also following with his mother's request HAHAHAHA
            
            sorry, I let myself go crazyyyy imagining a whole scene with them based on your hc, but I loveeee itt !!!! hahaha
            
            TOM'S A SWEETHEARTTT !! have I said that already ??? goodness, he's so sweet, Jon def notices that, how he looks after him — even if he has trouble letting people do things for him <\333 it doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate it. he does, a lot <333
            as for his perfectionism, Jon's always there, gently reminding him of taking a break. from training and/or from worrying about details and stuff. although indirectly, bc just telling him to 'take a break' won't work, so he gives him something else to think about, bringing up different topics and such <3

Likewise! He did tend to feel utterly hypnotized by the other all the time! No exaggeration. Every kiss, every touch to his hand... his voice, the look in his eyes, his smile. All Jon could do was pay close attention to his *angel*, like he was indeed privileged to testify something divine... because he was. Thomas D'Angelo came straight from Heaven, he's damn sure of it! "Hmmm... I'm glad. That's exactly how I always want to be for *you* — and you *only*," he smiled slightly, before it changed into a huge grin at what he said: "I love you. So flipping much, my darling."

   tom is almost oblivious to the fact that he tends to get almost hypnotised when jon does certain things—  that particular action,  with the closeness and the gentleness,  was one of those things.  "i can read you like a book."  he smiled,  the laughter carried more in the tone of his voice than in any actual gesture.  he was clearly still under his boyfriend's influence.  "i'll forgive it,  though.  because it happens to be very flattering.  it's one of the many things i love about you."  
            
            /  @-NEVERALONE 

"A little bit?" he gestured with his hand, chuckling along with his gorgeous boyfriend. He leaned closer to him, touching the tip of his nose against his — then pressing a tiny kiss to his lips, before withdrawing slightly to quirk an eyebrow up at him. He grinned: "Damn... am I this easy to read?" he asked jokingly, laughing a bit at that.

He hummed his contentment at all and every affectionate touch from his boyfriend, rubbing gentle circles on his back in return — he only cracked an eye open, as a way of paying attention to what he was saying. Admittedly, needing that extra effort (staring at the wall with narrowed eyes, in an attempt to concentrate), because... "Darling, I have no idea what you're talking about," he chuckled, peppering more kisses on his shoulder. Not for the sake of the 'experiment' anymore, but rather simply because he was there... and it was hard to resist! "Start with the basic level, yes? I promise I'll pay attention and make an effort to get it."

   unbeknownst of any experimenting that was going on,  tom just tilted his head closer to jon's where it hid against his shoulder.  his hand movements changed slightly and instead he had two fingers running up and down jon's spine,  laughing along at his protests.  "it's not odd,  you're just so far behind.  if you weren't there for the edinburgh willy wonka experience,  how can i even begin to explain to you the holding space video?  there's levels to it,  babe,  but you're too impatient for that kinda thing."  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

He grinned with the result of his harmless experiment, hiding it against Tom's shoulder, of course. In his opinion, considering his boyfriend has that 'annoying' tendency of distracting him too, it was *totally* fair! "Waste of yer time? It's not my fault! Half of them are like rocket science, 'n' the other half's simply so absurd that makes no sense at all! I can only wonder if that's the kind of thing people find funny nowadays?! It's odd!"