RED-EMPTION

   tom could understand that experiencing all of that and then losing it so quickly was probably a really difficult thing to adjust to,  and he wanted to support his boyfriend through that as a fellow player.  things can change quickly,  and sometimes it'll feel like your fault—  but tom knew that jon wasn't to blame for any of that.  sure,  he was still working and was still improving,  but he was never singlehandedly to blame for a loss.  tom had experienced that,  countless times in his awful seasons he made a mistake that led them to concede,  and he contonued the to make several mistakes to stop them from coming back into the game.  he  *knew*  he'd been the reason for those losses,  when he walked past the trophy in the final and the fans boo'd him for his mistakes.  that feeling can happen to any player,  and tom didn't want jon to feel that.  so...  yeah,  he had to help him stay on top of his game!  obviously!  
               "i did not bribe him.  i gave him a choice!  and he did very well."  tom sent taz a thumbs up,  as if he was working very hard to defend him and the crazy dog had no idea.  it seemed like rose had taken the invitation personally,  and  *was*  actually running at tom like she was prepared to break his ankles,  and it kinda scared him!  so,  he waited until she got close and dribbled to the side with the ball,  taking it from her path,  and passing it to jon before she turned around and knew she'd been fooled.  "she's actually trying to kill me."  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE

After Klopp, it was difficult to feel confident. He started his career under his management and, sure, won the PL under Slot, but... it was Klopp's team who did it. It was pretty much his old boss' ways of doing things. When Slot's work truly started, the train derailed. The whole team felt that. And Jon lost that *feeling* that brought him to where he was at, now. As LFC's first keeper. As one of England's choices. Thank goodness he could count on his boyfriend, and his support after wave after wave of defeats and draws since lifting up that PL trophy was what prevented him from panicking— panicking about himself and his still so new role within the team.
            "Taz knows *bribery* when he sees it... and he likes it." Jon retorted with a grin; that dog never abandoned his devil plush since Tom gave it to him. It was his treasure!
            Jon quickly controlled the ball as it was passed to him, dribbled Rose and Taz, and before he ended up losing it to Mav, he forced a pass to his boyfriend. It wasn't the ideal, but it was like escaping a striker and meeting relief when finding a defender to help him to get the ball far away from his goal! "You heard him, boys... and girl. GO FOR THE ANKLES! ...I'm kidding," he laughed, as Rose ran like the adorable silly she is to try and steal the ball from the midfielder.

   they supported one another after losses,  it seems like they'd be doing a lot of that for each other recently!  tom would put all the blame on himself,  and jon would need to quietly talk him out of it,  and vice versa.  the trials of being a famous footballer,  he supposed!  people always expected the best out of you every time,  no matter what the rest of the team is doing.  
              "taz knows real football when he sees it,"  the midfielder keeps the ball at his foot when the dogs come charging in,  laughing at how distinct their personalities were before quickly realising he had to get rid of the ball before they took it off him.  he passed it to jon and tried to pretend it wasn't all as funny and endearing as it was.  "well.  i dont want rose or mav sabotaging me for this.  tell them not to run into my ankles!" 
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

    it was stupidly rare for people to hold themselves accountable in sports,  tom was well aware of that,  and he wished more people on liverpool's team would stand up for jon.  perhaps,  because he saw how the media could treat his boyfriend at times,  he was defensive of his own goalkeeper just because it was a damn respectable job,  okay!!  his boyfriend was a great goalkeeper,  and he didn't deserve any of that shit!  jon held himself to such a high standard,  and the midfielder wished he could just hold him for a bit and tell him to slow down for a moment.  maybe he'd do that later—  he'd ask very nicely to be the big spoon later.  
              he tilted his head to the side to try and look at jon,  but it was taking a weird stretch of his neck to do it so he gave up with a laugh and got his phone out to order something.  "what?  booooo.  how am i gonna make fun of jon without any backup?  booooooo."  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

Jon remembered watching that interview. If anything, that only made him fall even more in love with his boyfriend, if that was even possible! The way he stood up for his keeper, it was really nice to see, even if the commentators and the whole internet were already choosing him to be the one to blame. The guy was lucky to have Tom as his teammate. Taking accountability, when you're the one at fault, could be considered doing the bare minimum, but... in reality, we didn't see many players being this humble. Football got very tangled with that 'ego' thing; everyone trying to be the best at the expense of your own teammates, sometimes. Opportunities being missed, only because one player didn't want to serve the other and wanted to score the goals themselves. Making themselves the heroes. It was a cycle, for it was the media the one to blame right there for that kind of attitude, in his opinion. The way they hammered so heavily on quite young players, sometimes— that could mess up with someone's mental health. Jon took accountability for their last draw himself, too, for he knew it: had he saved that shot, they would've won, and he's already been trying even harder to get better at penalties. Hopefully, at some point, all his training will pay off.
            "You, too?!" Jon looked at him, gasping dramatically. "Don't feed the serpent! The venomous serpent!"
            Jane stuck out her tongue at her brother, laughing hard at that— before returning the wink to the midfielder. Yeah, they had an alliance... for now. He just got an extra twenty minutes bonus after doing that!
            "No objections at all," the older Clarke said, kissing his partner's temple. "Especially now you mentioned avocado. Love it."
            "Agreed," Jane added. "Although I can only stay for another half hour, or so. Or if my boss decides to call me before that. Sorry if I end up needing to leave earlier."

    sometimes people on the internet chose one player and decided to blame it all on them,  and thomas had seen it with his own goalkeeper before.  he remembered an incident where he hadn't closed someone down,  and they ended up shooting and scoring from outside the box—  everyone had immediately blamed the goalkeeper for not saving it,  but tom knew he should've done better defensively.  he said it explicitly in his interview,  he took accountability,  and he tried to improve,  but he'd been so angry with where everyone placed the blame.  so to see his partner facing similar unfair scrutiny?  he'd go crazy.  jon worked harder than anyone tom knew,  he was in the position he was in for liverpool because he was  *good*.  he was competent,  he was strong,  he was brave.  he was the kind of player people could rely on. 
              "wow,  jon.  you didn't even offer your guest a drink?"  the midfielder teased,  despite jon's defense,  and he sent a wink towards jane as if to play along with her.  he had to make the most of this alliance while he had it!  "any objections if i order us those brunch wraps from the cafe down the road?  i've been thinking about them for....  i mean,  *days*.  and their avocado toast....  it's so good."  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

That was really sweet to know. That he was the one who was able to do that to him, to calm him down— they were each other's 'chase of adrenaline' and safe haven, all at once. Loving him was the same as jumping out of a plane, as it was sitting in front of the fireplace, wrapped in a fluffy blanket. And he loved that about them. The high that every kiss brought to him, the calmness of every gentle look they shared whilst holding each other's hands.
            He was quick to oblige, moving closer to him— if that was even possible. "I kept 'em, yes. It'll be my pleasure to show you all of them. We can make it happen in the very same day I get you to dance with me," he chuckled, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Please, babe... says you! You're annoyingly great at everything you do," he winked to him, resting his forehead against his.

   jon was his cheerleader,  his biggest supporter,  his best friend,  the love of his life.  he felt so  *loved*  by him,  so  *admired*  by him,  somehow,  and it was flattering and every other feeling at once.  he adored the actor,  admired him in equal measure,  and wanted to show him off to the world!  he wanted the universe to know how lucky this silly little adrenaline junkie!  he was chaos,  all over the place,  yet calmed down and gentle when beside jon.  like this very moment—  jon had always been the only person to be able to do that to him.  "awww,  that's so cute,"  he laughed,  turning on his side and putting his arms around jon to bring him closer.  "did you keep them??  i'd like to see that.  i bet they're great.  you're good at everything you do for some annoying reason."  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

He could only feel thankful for the fact that Tom was making the effort to double check everything. Nothing made him happier than seeing the man he loved happy, doing what he adored for a living, but he worried at every stunt! Sometimes he couldn't stomach it and had to look away, or he would be desperately shouting his name there! But knowing how capable he is, the amazing professional that he is, he had been finding the courage to watch the stunts and support the love of his life— whenever it was possible. Staying in the set with him till he finished shooting his scenes, just to welcome him into a tight hug afterwards— telling him just how incredible he is, how brave he is, and fangirl *hard* over him. Because... *him*. Look at him! "I enjoyed taking pics of natural beauty. Sunset, flowers— anything that caught my eye. I'd love to take a picture of you." he winked his way, grinning to him.

  "so weird,"  thomas reaffirmed with a fond smile,  because he  *loved*  the notes and the more personal side he got to see with them.  the texts almost felt sad in comparison,  when they had no other choice!  the final kiss had thomas internally cheering,  leaning in and kissing him back with a softness inspired from their quiet back and forth teasing.  "good.  i'll be waiting for my letter,  then."  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

"Was he?" he inquired with a huge, dork smile on his face, laughing at that. He knew it was. That's why he never attempted it for real. He was the kind of boyfriend who would leave post-its with sweet or silly notes for his loved one, rather than messaging them. Although, with their forced distance sometimes, he definitely transformed those notes in messages. "Glad to hear that, for I can only grow more *old*-fashioned over time," he chuckled, pressing the final kiss to his partner's lips.

   tom lets his hands on jon's face drop to his shoulders,  then to his hips at the force of the jump for kisses.  always the enabler,  the midfielder surrendered to him entirely,  closing his eyes and nudging his partner closer.  "fine,  fine.  but between you and me,  the modern-you was a little weird,"  he joked,  tilting his head to connect his eyes with jon and grin at him.  "i fell in love with the old-fashioned-you,  anyway."  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

   tom knew it was on him to do something.  because...  well,  jon had mentioned that he still loved him.  and maybe sometimes it was clear,  in the way they looked at each other.  it was tom's feelings that were the current problem,  because the musician didn't  *know*  how he felt.  and how did he fix that?  now?  did he need a speech?  should he wait?  or would it be better to say something now before they planned some  *holiday* together?  because if jon changed his mind or moved on,  they'd be stuck in god knows where with each other!  
              tom was overthinking it.  he had a sip of his beer to hopefully erase the worrying again—  he was stuck in a loop!  an overthinking loop!  but jon's smile was so gorgeous,  how could he  *not*  want to move mountains to have him back again?!  
              "some cats!  definitely not  *my*  cat,  admittedly,  but...  well.  maybe one day he'll decide to stop biting me and actually listen to when i want him to do something,  right?  he might take it easy on me someday.  i'll show you if he manages any tricks,  though.  it'll totally change your opinion on cats when he does." 
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

It really wasn't doing enough to close the distance, indeed. He felt like moving his chair closer to his. He felt like holding his hand. Yet, he was stuck in place, afraid of doing any of these things. It burned him alive, every smile and every look he got from the other. It consumed him. But he couldn't do anything about it. He knew that. The words he heard that night, demanding them to be over, hammered in his head enough to keep him nailed in place. "Yeah," still, he did his best to not let him realize how much he was suffering without him. Not out of pride— but to avoid the pity of how his pathetic self couldn't get over a breakup. Like a teenager's first love, and first disappointment. "Those new songs I mentioned, yeah." and then he found himself smiling to him, sincerely so. "Can you do that? Teach a cat tricks? Genuine question from someone who never had a cat in their life." and also because he wanted to listen to him more... nothing wrong with that, right?

   tom knew he shouldn't have done it,  because now it felt difficult to keep that physical barrier between them.  now he remembered just how good it felt to touch him,  he felt like they were sitting so far apart!  just leaning forward on the table wasn't doing enough to close this distance.  "those new songs you were talking about?"  he asked curiously,  drinking his new beer to give himself something to focus on without reaching for jon's hand or something.  which would be ridiculous.  totally.  they were eating!  "umm.  good question.  i don't know.  might teach my cat how to play dead.  or something equally as exciting."  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

Those words... those three little, yet huge words! ...And the way he said them! ...Good goddess, it always managed to make him feel *weak*. Melting in his embrace like ice cream in a hot summer day. He grinned, a look of pure bliss in his eyes. That's how Tom made him feel, like the rest of the world disappeared behind their closed door. All that mattered to him the most, his whole world, it was right there... and standing within his reach!
            He watched as Tom left the room, and he kept on looking idly towards the direction where he disappeared to— instantly brightening up again when he returned. He picked up the bottle and poured them both their drinks, purposefully holding over Tom's hand while he did— casting a glance his way and smiling like a fool... "I'm sure it's great, babe." he reassured, clinking their glasses together carefully, before he took a sip— humming his approval as soon as he tasted it. It was really, really good! "Perfect," he whispered, locking his eyes with his— although he wasn't only talking about the drink...
            
            
            // HAHAHAAH INDEED !!!!! IT'S SOOOOOO GOOD !!!!!! <33333 (':

    the midfielder had totally intended on moving and getting those glasses,  but the touch to the hem of his shirt and the way jon's arms seemed to wrap around him totally distracted him.  his hands held jon's face,  admiring his smile and letting him come in closer whilst tom's arms went around his neck.  "i love you,"  he repeated after their kiss,  slightly hypnotised but present enough to finally shift back and carefully make his way over to get them both a glass.  he put some ice in before bringing them in front of jon and standing close,  for the goalkeeper to pour them both a drink.  "no idea how it tastes,  so...  hopefully it's a good one!  it's supposed to be a fancy one."  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE    FRRR he's so great.  the heart of that show tbh i adore him.  neeed to rewatch it again goddd i forgot how much i loved it HAHAHA all the tropes we love!!!!! 

"One day," he repeated after him, as a promise of his own in return. Then tried to bring him closer— if that was even possible— by tugging at the hem of his shirt, carefully. Jon wrapped his arms around his waist, locking his eyes with his partner's. A soft smile settling on his lips, as he leaned forward to rest his forehead against his. "Great," he answered, but he playfully kept on holding him, not wanting to let go just yet. He missed him, all right? They had very little time to do this while they were playing at the World Cup. "I love you," and after a peck to his lips, he finally let him go.
            
            
            // HAHAAHAH CROWLEY IS JUST SOOO <3333
            first episode, he's blasting Queen !!!!!! I couldn't have found a favourite character any quicker... AAHAHHAAHH
            the show is sooo refreshing, Azi and Crowley were so well written, what a great show. I'm already rewatching it all, bc I got obsessed with them (': HAAHAAHH
            OOHH, SAME, MY FRIEND....... SAME...... HAAHAAAHHAA

   it was tom's fault that jon thought like that,  and he hoped he'd be able to coax him out of it.  sure...  tom didn't prepare like he should've done for the inevitable event of their relationship going public,  and that made him panic in the worst ways possible,  but none of that was jon's fault.  in fact,  he was the only bearable thing about it all.  whilst the bodyguard didn't know the full extent of his worries,  he did have a feeling that he'd reinforced the worries jon shared with him before.  the lack of privacy,  the liberties social media could take,  the difficulties of it all.  he wanted to make it up to him—  he'd buy jon some nice flowers,  get him a delicious bottle of wine,  make him a hopefully-okay lunch,  and maybe even make them both a dessert.  even if jon absolutely wouldn't expect something so...  well.  romantic.  "okay.  let's do wednesday.  it's,  y'know...  sooner,"  how pathetic,  thomas.  truly.  you're outdoing yourself this evening.  the view and the fresh air was making him way too vulnerable.  "i'm looking forward to it."  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

If he blushed a little bit when Tom held his arm a little tighter, well... that was nobody's business! He was just so happy right now, with the possibility of seeing him next week— to *hang out* with him, instead of it being purely a professional thing. He would probably go to bed that night with a stupid smile on his face! Luckily, Tom wouldn't be nearby to see it— so he wouldn't see how pathetic he was with his inability of moving on from him. So he wouldn't see... just how damn in love with him Jon still was. Even if he should be able to look at the other as a friend, in the same way Tom seemed to be able to. Actually, this was already *huge*. He honestly feared Tom hated him or something, considering how they seemed to be both avoiding each other in the past months— since they broke up, actually. He deserved the hate, in fact... he turned his world upside down with those paparazzi following him around. Jon's world was messed up; there's no privacy nor space for it to be just the two of them, as he clearly preferred it to be. The musician would rather it to be the same way, too. That people knew how to respect that he had a personal life, that it had nothing to do with who he was when he was at the stage. But... it's a crazy time, with all that social media shit. They see a photo of you and suddenly they feel like they know more about your life than you do. It's... terrifying. "Perfect. Wednesday. Friday. Midday. One o'clock. You say it— I'll be waiting for you."
            
            
            // <33333

   tom wished he knew all of that.  he wished he knew how much jon thought about him,  maybe it'd be the push that made him take it a step further.  he might've turned to him,  asked him for it to be a date rather than just a hang out,  but in the end he was under a strange impression that jon was trying to move on.  as much as it hurt,  it was what tom deserved.  the response from the musician almost sounded like a promise,  and tom couldn't help but smile and nudge his face further against his shoulder,  holding onto his arm a little tighter.  "okay."  the confirmation made him smile,  because he knew jon had things to do.  he was a musician,  he was  *busy*,  yet he still stated with confidence that any time would work.  hm.  maybe neither one of them were moving on like they should've been.  "maybe...  wednesday?  or friday?  one o'clock?  i told the other guys they can call me if they need anything whilst i'm off but i have this funny feeling they'll ignore that.  so i can also do whenever."  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE   me toooo  <33333 !!!! 

    "that is very sweet of you,"  he held him tightly in return—  this was sort of the only real contact he ever had,  and he craved it when he had to work.  he craved everything about jon at all times,  to be honest,  and he was admittedly a very silly angel.  
              "i bet i would love all of them,  darling.  what kinds of ideas did you have?  tell me everything!!"  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

"You're welcome," he returned the smile. A feather touch of his fingers to the angel's cheek; withdrawing his hand when Tom brought him in for a hug. The demon hugged him back, *tight*. His face hiding in the crook of his neck as he closed his eyes— just allowing himself to cherish the moment. "Things aren't the same down here without you..." he confessed quietly, brushing his fingers through his hair, before moving his head back just enough to look into his gorgeous eyes.
            Ah, those eyes! ...Damn him.
            "No, it's okay... it gave me time to think of all the places I want to take you next," he smiled, sounding more mischievous, now— meaning, slowly acting back like himself! "New places I've just found out, too! ...All I could think of is how much you'd love them..." while hoping that he was all right...

  it's a big moral debate,  and tom had worried about it hundreds of times before.  so he understood,  and it was sweet to see how jon thought about things in his job.  despite all their differences,  they both really cared about humanity and the good they could do,  and it hurt to see them choose evil. 
              "thank you,"  he replied,  flattered,  a shy smile on his face,  staying there despite the tired comment.  he didn't mind that,  it was  *true*,  and it meant jon was looking.  which...  made him feel a little flustered.  the quiet honest made the angel tilt his head and then,  being mindful of the lizard in his pocket,  brought jon in for a hug.  "i missed you too.  i'm sorry,  i shouldn't have just disappeared."  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE 

   he  *was*,  obviously,  getting those romantic influences from somewhere,  and jon was right to tease him!  he would find candles,  he would find flowers,  he'd make him his favourite meal and pour him his favourite drink.  he'd tell him how much he loved him,  reach for his hand across the dinner table—  y'know,  all the things that jon had taught him.  his romantics that thomas used to poke fun at and get all flustered around,  now he'd take those skills and use them against the goalkeeper!  it was perfect.  "you managed to get away with it,  then?  i would have settled for some kisses and just getting to fall asleep like this.  that's gift enough for me."  
            
            /   @-NEVERALONE    FR  two sides of the same coin  HAHA

He quirked an eyebrow as soon as he heard his boyfriend saying 'candles', looking at him teasingly, as if saying: 'are you getting some romantic influences from a certain someone?' --he grinned after that, shaking his head fondly to his partner. "You know I wouldn't object to the candle part," he answered jokingly, just going along with his boyfriend... although he probably would've liked that, but that shall be his secret!
            "Oh, darling. That's when I'm gonna be giving *you* all I got for yourself, too, then," he smirked; it was hard to go shopping with the lads on their trail. Even more so when you're trying to surprise your boyfriend and he's tagging along with you! ...Good goddess, he got really good at making the weirdest excuses to go on another direction 'without drawing suspicion', though...
            
            
            // HAHAHAHA indeed. wattpad wants to be seen as trendy, going with 'minimalism' as their tendency......... AHAHAHHAHA

   tom wouldn't ever forget anything!  sometimes he'd go to bed and think about something silly jon said,  and he'd end up smiling to himself like a fool—  the memories kept him going when they were apart.  he laughed to himself when jon joked with him,  looking up at him and reflecting the sweet look back to his partner.  "gonna make you dinner as soon as i get back.  gonna buy you the best wine.  might even get some candles."  he mumbled lightheartedly and,  even if the candles line was only a tease,  he  *could*  do that,  and it seemed entirely worth it to charm his partner.  "gonna give you all your gifts.  i'm gonna curate the most perfect date night ever seen before.  so you'll have to tell me when you're free."  
            
            /  @-NEVERALONE   HAHAHAHA there have been so many updates recently!!!!  difference is discord have been adding loads of stuff and it seems like wattpad just removes features HAHAHAH one is a lot more confusing than the other.. . .. . .  ....

@-NEVERALONE  /  i just caaant believe that the working class sport has been taken over by these rich careless LOSERS.  it's so SAD and i will never get over it.  seeing it in the premier league is bad enough,  but it's on a whole other level in the world cup 

// yeah, well. that could DEF be a possibility.
            but when we get to look it closer, the same ref that was on Brazil vs Norway was the one who was on England vs Argentina. that explains a lot, too.
            (and when we see he's united statesian, then it's even more alarming...)

// they didn't get punished then, they won't get punished now, sadly. like USA, they get the special fifa treatment— it means red cards, fouls and penalties work differently for them. sincerest opinion ?? boycotting the world cup could be the only answer to fifa. since money is all they think of, if there's no competition and no money, they'll be forced to rethink their shit. otherwise, yeah. every 4 years, we'll see a competition that already has its winners before it even begins. Egypt was ROBBED. Croatia too, all for CR7 benefit. they were clearly choosing who continued or not.