SamUniverse14

I want to talk to someone, but I can’t. When I try to talk to my mom my words are jumbled and I can’t say the right words. I don’t see my friends anymore since I’m doing homeschool and they’re not. I feel more comfortable talking with someone online I know(or something similar)…. I’m afraid I might say something wrong or mess up something, so I keep my mouth shut. Whenever I argue with my mom about something, I can’t find the right words and stutter, and put both of my hands over my mouth so I don’t say anything…

I feel like I might be overwhelming or annoying someone, I’m really worried about them but I’m afraid I might seem weird or clingy or something..... I hate my anxiety and depression... why am I like this? 

I had a mental breakdown in my online class today, my French teacher was helping me with an assignment to bring my grade up and she was going kinda fast but I didn’t say anything (I was born ADD, aka Attention-deficit disorder, anxiety and diagnosed with depression) and I had to do my other assignments for my other classes, after two minutes of crying I turned on my mic and asked my French teacher crying if I could leave the call cause I was having a mental breakdown she said yes and apologized for overwhelming me(she’s really nice), I texted my mom what happened and she told me to take a break and to go to the backyard to get some fresh air to clear my head (I was starting to cry again while texting her cause she was working and I didn’t wanna bother her) an hour or so later ( a few minutes ago) my mom’s friend just called me and told me my mom fell down 8 stairs while doing Doordash and is in the hospital with her, and sent me pictures of my moms legs after she fell .... my mom had brain or neck surgery 4 or 3 years ago and she can’t turn her head that much or else it hurts.... what a great day....

Vanossgaming and his friends new show Alpha Betas pilot will premiere on YouTube March 13 and I can’t wait! Already looks awesome, and I planned on making a Alpha Betas oc as soon as the trailer came out 3 weeks ago! A con for me being an artist. Someone please make a Alpha Betas x reader one shot book after the pilot episode is released 

They say love is a wonderful thing, and amazing thing. Like nature it can be beautiful and bring life, but can also be dangerous and bring death. Some already found the one for them, some are still looking for love many years later. I had a therapy session today with my therapist over my mom’s phone. I didn’t want to talk to them about anything even though they’re professionals and supposed to “help” me. I just want to talk to a close friend because I feel more comfortable talking to a close friend than my family. I just feel lonely all the time, I basically don’t have any friends anymore since they either moved away or we just drifted away from each other. Same thing with my love life, I guess. I just want a guy who would support me when times are tough, cheer me up when I’m down, hold me when I’m scared, help me when I’m struggling with something, patient when I’m trying to say something right, cuddle with me when I’m tired and don’t feel good, and accepts me for who I am.... but I’m only 14, and who knows how much time I have left. No one wants a chubby, mentally unstable, depressed suicidal girl as their girlfriend, I already learned that, twice. First crush, liked him A LOT then I overheard him say to my friend I should go kill myself. Almost did. Second crush, became my first boyfriend in October 2019. I really loved him and felt like he was the right one for me, broke up with me a few weeks after Valentine’s Day in 2020. I guess I’m talking to you guys but it doesn’t feel like it 

I guess it’s now 4 or 5 times I tried to kill myself. Should’ve let sleep consume me after I slipped and hit my head hard on the road instead of listening to my mom telling me not to fall asleep. Should’ve opened my bedroom window all the way after taking my sleeping medicine when it was still really cold and snowing. Things aren’t going to get better, I already know that yet the pain is kinda numb

It’s snowing here in Texas so yesterday me and my mom were driving to her friends house to make sure she was ok. On my right in front of a gas station we saw a guy in his car struggling to move his car since it was stuck on the road from the ice. No one was helping him so me and my mom got out of the truck to help him, we were kinda in the middle of the road intersection but there wasn’t a lot of cars. Halfway walking over to him I ended up slipping on the ice covered road and hit the back of my head hard. But it didn’t even hurt at all, and my mom, the guy and his wife asked if I was ok and I said yeah. And after we helped him I slipped again but fell on my right side and it didn’t hurt. And today I was sitting on my parents bed watching videos with my mom, and my mom scared me and I jerked and hit my head on the wall behind me and just like yesterday it didn’t hurt. She apologized for scaring me, but I’m still wondering how I didn’t knock myself out yesterday 

It’s really cold here in Texas with all the snow. But I like it, it’s comforting in a way 

Sup! Just wanna thank you for voting on my one-shots! I smiled when I got the notifications! Stay fresh! 

Today mom took me and Jayden to McDonald’s to get Jayden a happy meal before she went to work. I saw an old man sitting on the curb eating, he looked sad and lonely. I think he was homeless since he had two bags on his right, but my mom pointed out he had a phone. Still I wanted to help him cause it obviously looked like he was struggling. I got out of the truck and walked over to him and introduced myself. His name was Martin and said he was struggling, “it’s hard to believe where I started and where I am now” he said looking down. I had my Fnaf silver eyes graphic novel book with and said “here, it’s not much but you can read it when you feel bored” and told him a little bit about Fnaf, I also gave him my Coraline seeing stone necklace and said, “wear this for good luck, it can help you find the good in world” and gave him $6 since I didn’t have much. He thanked me and I said “your welcome god bless you” my mom saw it all, and said she’d send a prayer for him, I will pray for him to. I hope other people help him too