RalphyTheWriter
For anyone reading this, It's been a while since I've shed any light on the future of my stories. Just to be blunt, I have given up on writing anything original for the past couple months or so. Personally, I just don't think my skills as a literary writer are that good, even when I try my best and work hard in reading a text. I do love writing(I think), but almost everything I write down just doesn't sound good to me. It'd be logical to delete anything that I don't like and cherry pick the aspects I do like. However, while there were some aspects I did like, there were other days where I just stopped liking them and they abruptly sounded all bad after that. This wasn't a one time thing, but a continuous pattern during any story I had in mind. "Deviated Conduit" is the primary one here. In addition, I just felt like the way I described certain scenes in the story just didn't sound all that immersive or enticing. This is what ultimately lead to me deciding to quit writing and slowly develop depression. (THE SENTIMENT, NOT THE ILLNESS.) I haven't had the confidence to write at all, leaving "Deviated Conduit" in a state of limbo until I abandoned the original version and giving it the "Legacy" stamp. I can't figure out if writing is my calling or not. Sometimes I enjoy it, and sometimes I don't, which really frightens me. I can't tell if it's just me or not at this point. Hence, all this was why I am active. That being said, I don't want to just remain idle and do nothing. I've been feeling meaningless in life if I'm just not being productive, which is another mental problem I have. Thus, I have a story idea that I will POSSIBLY write. Remember work in progress fanfiction, "Bluey: an Illusioned Reality?" Sadly, I don't have plans to continue working on the original iteration, either. However, recently, I've been thinking about revamping it because of my passion for the show. I do not know when I'd start writing, but that's one glint of hope I have regarding the future.
RalphyTheWriter
@Gumnny_fans Aye, man. Nice seeing you here, again! I would spill the beans in dm's, but I didn't realize that Wattpad had omitted that feature. A shame, but I digress. If I'm being honest with you, there are a plethora of reasons of why I feel meaningless. It's been about four years since I've started taking literary writing seriously, and throughout that time, there were a lot of revelations that came to light, which really started to exert full forced pressure on me until I was completely flattened, like dough. 1.No one actually cared about me when I was a child. A lot of the friends I had by then just used me to poke fun at me and my tendencies. 2.I have a learning disability in both reading and writing, meaning it takes more time for me digest what I read and what I wrote down. I knew about this all my life, but it doesn't actually kick in till I....well, sit down and read/write. Part of the reason why I don't know if I could be a literary writer. 3.I tend to compare myself a lot with other people, especially those that don't care about reading/writing. They don't have to put effort, like I do, yet they can still get a lot of admiration and praise. 4.Kind of on the same thread as three. I feel underappreciated both on the work I make and as a human being. 5.People say I'm smart, but they never give me an example, even after I ask them, making that claim weightless. I think those are the major ones aside from some other detailed crumbs. Typing all that kind of started to heighten my anger. I was never an angry sort of guy, but I have given up trying to repel my depression, as it really gives me a migraine when I do. I sometimes tended to lash out to my friends, which is mostly why I put on a temporary mask before I devolve, again. As of today, I'm still waiting on therapy sessions, but that won't happen until November, sadly. My teachers have also been supportive of me, too, so that's good. If you'd like to talk more, hit me on discord, Murray! :)
Gumnny_fans
@RalphyTheWriter Life can weigh you down, make you feel useless, meaningless, even not worthy of really living. But I’ve discovered this; You are one in roughly 8 billion people around the world. Nobody can truly relate to your story because it’s, well, yours. I know I’m probably not worth a thought to you, a memory of a slightly better time. And that’s okay with me. But I haven’t forgotten you. You are special, and you deserve happiness. But..the more pressure you put on yourself to find your passion, your purpose, your motivation, the harder it may become to gain such things. I do not remember how old you are, and it doesn’t matter all that much anyhow. Never give up on yourself. Missed ya, bud.
