Raynahrt19

When I find a fic with mentally ill characters 20+ chapters and an unbelievable amount of angst

Raynahrt19

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Idk how long this phase will last but I feel the sudden urge to fix everything I’ve broken and make up for all the bad shit I’ve done but I’m so scared it won’t last and I’ll just disappoint everyone again.

Raynahrt19

this message may be offensive 
When does it get easier? I’ve started to isolate myself I even cut on 2 of my closet friends (for good reason) the only people I have left is my best friend who has plenty of best friends and one other friend who I don’t think would care if they ever saw me again.i care so much yet i don’t care at all,my emotions are all of the place and I’m not getting any better with coping. If I’m being honest i never planned on being clean even after i got caught i just switched where i yk and only one person has ever seen them. I’m more irrationally these days i don’t even care to hide my suffering anymore and still nobody cares, right now im just ranting but it all means something to me. I don’t even know what I want but i want it so bad. Wow this is getting long but I still have so much to. I’m such a shitty person and friend to everyone, if they knew how fucked up I really was I would truly be alone until I rot.

Raynahrt19

He follows her omfg. I’ve been the only girl he follows on social media for the past 3 years and now he’s all hers. I actually can’t handle this , I’ve been through this so many times I know he doesn’t like me at all but the thought of him being with someone other than me breaks my heart more and more each time . I know I’m reading into it but I don’t know how to love gentle and soft. Idk why I’m venting on here when I have a notes app but I think I find a little comfort in someone seeing this.