Now I must say; I was planning on not finishing reading this due to very crucial reason. There are a lot, and I mean A LOT of spelling, grammar and punctuation error, that just take you out of the story. And one more thing in my opinion you don’t need to have a full on Italian words then translation if Vincent’s POV, I think it is a little bit unnecessary. I suggest that only conversations that are Italian should be written in Italian, however please put a translation. I’ve notice that you wrote a whole paragraph in Italian then translate the whole paragraph, but the conversation in Italian doesn’t have any. I just get confuse.
Thank you and keep on writing.