ReggieCanSwim

The messages on this account hold so many awful memories its insane. Why am I torturing myself by remembering things from 2-3 years ago that hurt so bad? Why am I still having dreams about a guy i met here about how we started talking again? Man I miss him so much its unbearable sometimes and I dont even know if hes even alive and that is what brings so much agony. I wish I could know how his life is after not being in contact for so damn long. I wish I would've worded my last message better. I wish I told him how much he means to me. Wherever you are, I hope youre happier and healthier and got everything sorted out. I know most probably were never going to ever talk again and we'll never hear from each other but a part of me still doesn't want ro give up on our friendship since it has been a huge side of me for so long and most likely will for however long it will take to get over this but I hope you still remember me. Will never delete this account so if you ever think we could talk again, this space is perfect to reunite. I was enchanted to meet you.

YOUR ACOUNT IS OS AESTHETIC

Can we pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty please with a cherry on top be friends :)

HEYYYYYY

Hello

Hey. It's me, ig.
          I don't know if you remember me, but I messaged you after seeing your account in IWAJAG. I was pretty young back then! (i know it was only like last year but it feels like it's been a lot longer.)
          I just wanted to tell you that you really helped me. I didn't have many friends back then, and you being kind and willing to talk to me helped.
          So yeah, I just wanted to thank you. I don't know if you remember me, but I want you to know that you helped me.

A friend told me journaling will make me feel better so knowing I used Wattpad as a vent place before here we are again. These are more like notes to myself I'll read later in time to acknowledge how childish and stupid I was in the past or words I don't want to forget.
          
          Today was alright. Not much happening. I got sick though. Classes weren't as stressful cuz Tuesday is our easiest day when it comes to school and our headteacher got sick too so we didn't have biology class. I got a 10 in maths. That was my highlight of the day. I remember a few months ago, when the selections were going on, my father told me he'll vote for who I want and it was too late.
          
          There's this guy in my class I'm totally head over heels but I don't know how he feels about me but most likely it's one sided. I hate how much effort into making things work just for me to have an existential crisis every time I see him. I'll talk about him a lot here so bare with me cuz I have many things to say about him. I wrote him a letter on Valentine's. I'm not sure if he pretended to read it or actually read it but he keeps saying he didn't read it and I don't know if I should believe him or not. He wrote "I accept" on it and gave it back to me. That was it. After classes he pulled me closer by putting his hand on my shoulder while we were walking and talking. 
          
          I tried so hard to be someone he would like in that way. I looked up on the internet for signs and stuff about this kind of things. I started to put make up on. I started to study more and do my homework specifically because I know he'll ask me to give it to him so he copies it. It's my motivation. 
          
          I know I'm most likely delusional. I'm well aware of that. I'm overthinking a lot and I'm at the point where I don't know when I'm overreacting or overexaggerating. I hate the way he changed my days in just 3 months. It started off as a silly crush and now I'm crying because I changed so much for a person who doesn't show any interest.

Here I'm going to talking about my mini mental breakdowns while watching the Grammies so deal with me

Happy birthday to me ig

@kurts_greasyhair Hiya there so I just basically decided I don't really want to be online anymore here. I'm still checking how's everything going. IM ALRIGHT BY THE WAY DW :>