Hi, guys.
I know I've been away for some months but a lot has been going on and I just don't have the energy to edit or write. I barely have the energy to do anything these days.
To be honest, I've lost interest. I've lost that passion to keep pushing.
I tried promoting my writings to family and even though I've gotten, "Oh, yeah. I'll definitely read it. It sounds good."
It didn't happen. I know people's opinions don't matter but I've started looking at the stuff I write and realize that no matter how good a story is, if it's full of heartbreak and violence, not many people will finish it or even bother reading it. And reading some of the reviews, maybe it's time I either stop or remove some of them.
I was hoping to try and make this into a career but if I can't even get the people closest to me, the people that have watched me grow, to bother reading it, then why should I keep trying?
I have a very close friend that's thriving as an author and I'm proud of them. People are picking up copies left and right while I've lost 50 followers from being inactive. And due to the nature of my books, a majority of readers put it down before seeing the finished product.
Typing out something like this used to hurt me. I would sit for hours and cry, basically begging myself not to give up. That people will eventually get around to it. I'm numb.
I'm tired guys. And while I don't want to give up, I see no reason to keep going either. There is just too much going on in my life right now and on top of that, I've lost my muses. I don't have the energy or the time and what energy I do have is spent taking care of my Littles, or helping my spouse. Then, it's used to hold myself together long enough to fix the broken pieces of me.
I don't know what the future may hold for me. Maybe I'll get that energy to try again. We'll see. But, for now, this is goodbye.
Take care.
I purple you.
Love, Rei.