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My Sad day: a thread
College result released today, didn't get in, mom said maybe that college isn't for me. Got home slept, tired of everything and sad, woke up didn't open eyes, listenined to my brother & my mom's conversation, they thought I was alseep. Bro asked if I got in, mom said no, then said "she didn't even study and you think she'll get in?" left the room with him, I opened my eyes and got up, continued to listen as my mom talks trash to me as she is leaving to the kitchen. I checked the time, time for dinner. Realized mom didn't even try to wake me up for dinner, thinks back to the other times I passed out and didn't eat dinner. Realized mom has been saying she kept trying to wake me up put I don't, lost my appetite. Remembered she keeps insulting my weight and body, calls me fat. Already probably have some sort of depression, tried to bring topic up once before, mom called me crazy & shouted angry asked y I even thought about having depression. Played it off as a joke, she got less mad but still mad. I'm insecure about my body and weight because of my family but when I degrade myself about it agreeing with them they either say to stop saying that cause it's not true or they insult me more saying go exercise and workout cause I'm a lazy shit. The thing is I used to be on volleyball varsity & my parents always got mad at me for having late practice and kept telling me to leave the team. Once the season ended and we were done with championships they were happy i didn't have practice anymore. Then proceed to insult me. When I ask to join to play volleyball with people outside school they say it's a waste of time. Later says I need to exercise, went to exercise by myself at home. When they saw me they took pictures and kept correcting me even if they themselves never exercised.