Do I really have to full this out? Fine fine.
Well, as you may know, I am very tall, it's quite often remarked upon. And clever too, I have four degrees from universities so specialized and at such a high level that nobody has ever heard of them. The commonly-held belief is that I am a fairly short, fairly thick brummie, 41 years old, who lives in a pretend castle in the Herefordshire countryside with his wife, Mindy, two daughters, Izzy and Willow, six dogs, four cats, eight horses, two goats, a flock of sheep, twenty or so ducks, twelve cars, four motorcycles and an unnecessarily large collection of chickens. And you can go with that one if it suits you better.

{this is NOT the real Richard Hammond}