hi readers first off, i am so, so sorry. i know i haven’t updated my other stories for almost a whole month/week now, and my updates in general have been so inconsistent lately. a lot of you have waited so patiently, so i wanted to finally open up about what’s been going on behind the screen.
these past few weeks have been some of the hardest i’ve had in a long time. school started back a few weeks ago, and it’s been so overstimulating and pressuring that some days i can barely drag myself out of bed, let alone sit down to write. on top of that, i’ve been dealing with bullying again… and my depression came back, after years of me thinking i’d finally left it behind. i don’t really know what to do with it right now, if i’m being honest. my overthinking gets so loud some nights it feels like it’s actually killing me—like i’m trapped in my own head and can’t find a way out.
ngl there was even a point i stupidly thought about unstanning enhypen ‘cause i lost so much motivation and interest lately—my emotions always spill out way before i can even sort my thoughts out, it’s all so complicated and messy yk? BUT LET ME BE 100% CLEAR—THAT IS NEVER ACTUALLY GONNA HAPPEN. EVER. i love our 7 boys with my entire heart. just seeing their dumb little smiles and their chaotic interactions instantly makes my day 10x lighter, and don’t even get me STARTED on my favorite ships—they’re the reason i’m still kicking my feet and giggling at 2AM lmao. they’re the reason why i started writing, they’re my little safe space, always.
