Hello Rick-san, my name is Misaki Rinko, one of the authors running the profile I'm currently using.
I just wanted to help you improve your grammar in English though your story has a good story line and such, what needs improvement is the grammar and punctuation marks.
I'm nit saying your a bad writer but, I'm just saying you could improve that way you would apply it in both real life and social life
P.S; I'm not being mean, I'm just helping fellow Filipino and Writer improve in the english language and usage -Since most people use the English language-. And I am also a Filipino too, but I am from Quezon City studying in Pasig City.
I hope you don't get offended, your story is great though! Along with your sketches, I can't sketch even a small bit near to yours, it's fabulous, I'm still learning graphs and calligraphy though, I'm always amazed when people show their Fabulous pieces of art.