Rieowiichi

My uncle is dead. I don't know how. He was 38. It's ruining my dad. He keeps saying stuff like he's not gonna beat this and he's gonna die too. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel

Rieowiichi

Why is life so hard dude. I tell myself I'm going to do good this year and I actually start focusing on my school work. Then out of the blue my dad gets diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, it's spreading everywhere and he's actively dying. I don't know what to do, I'm lost. My step dad had to move 5 hours away because he couldn't get his work permit or green card soon enough in this state. I just failed my math test because I can't focus anymore. What am I going to do? I think a part of me was right 5 years ago. I'm never going to make it to the end of next year. I'm stuck.

Rieowiichi

(update ig) 
          
          ----
          To my requesters on my Oneshot book;
          
          I truly apologize for not getting them in yet, I am just making excuses at this point. I understand that I have no motivation but I've put it off too long at this point. I will try to have them done first, they will be my first priority. 
          
          ----
          To the readers of the High School book; 
          
          I believe this book is now discontinued, I am truly sorry for the others that had wished for another chapter on that book. It has been 2 years and I don't know what ideas I had in general for it. I have forgotten.
          
          ----
          To the readers of "Where Did I Go";
          
          I know it has been a while since I had posted another chapter. I realize that I have forgotten most of the plot. I have been contemplating a re-write but I do not wish to do that. Instead, I will think of more ideas to try to finish it. The rough estimate for it was 20-25 chapters in total. After I have written the Oneshots for my requesters I will try to write a new chapter. The goal will be 6000 words, to spoil you and to repay you for the.. over a year long wait for that horrid cliffhanger. I sincerely apologize.

Rieowiichi

(update ig) 
          
          I'm finally back in school, it had been over a year since I've gone. Now though? I have no clue why I wanted to go back in the first place. I feel like it was just to feel like I had a purpose, or some sort. But now all I feel is unfulfilled and miserable. It's like I'm stuck in a place where I don't belong. 
          
          My friends that had wished for me to come back have yet to express that they ever missed me at all and my lover seems like they hate me. I believe I am overreacting or something but oh well. 
          
          I think I am going to drop out of this place, since I will never catch up to all the failings I had done in the previous years. My grades are only going downhill and even if I tried I wouldn't pass. I feel like God is testing me, I don't know why, I just want this quiz to be over. 
          
          It seems like everyone is angry with me these days, and I truly don't know what I have done wrong. Maybe it is for the best if I focus more on happiness than the misery of life. That is my reasoning too wanting to drop out the most. What's the point in staying in a place for 11 hours if I don't even want to be here? I truly don't remember why I wanted this. An escape? Maybe, but she wasn't that bad to me.

Rieowiichi

this message may be offensive 
I love you guys :Heart: I'm really unstable right now and I'm sorry that I haven't gotten around to write, so I think instead of waiting for me to get better, I'm gonna try to write anyway. I've been getting a tiny sliver of motivation and hopefully I can work with that. I've had a tiny amount of requests stacking up already and I can't keep waiting for my motivation to come back. because I personally believe I'm not getting mentally better anytime soon , which is pretty easy to believe. And like I've been doing nothing but lay in bed for the past 11 months of my life and been doing absolutely nothing with my life.
          
          Before you guys say anything about me being a 36 year old loser. I'm not 36 bruv I'm a minor. And my mom got away with just pulling me out of highschool and not schooling me for the past 11 months. Which is unbelievable that she got away with it but she did. Truancy just doesn't exist anymore because my mom said so. Sarcasm, obviously. She said she felt bad for pulling me out of school for something that wasn't even my fault but it's like :meh: why'd you do it then 
          
          Enough ranting. Sorry. If it's that easy for me to type all this shit out I can type all those Oneshots out just as easy can't I? 
          
          (Why'd I buy a Chromebook with what little money I had and just not use it?)

Rieowiichi

TBH why is eating so difficult. Like I get that I have an eating disorder but it shouldn't be so hard. I hate the feeling of being full, it's a sensation I never feel. Perhaps that's why I don't like it. I've gotten so used to being hungry that being full feels, unnerving. I don't know how to explain it. It makes me feel disgusted, but not at myself , it just feels like I'ma throw up.