I'm really loud and people tell me I'm annoying and I get weird looks from everyone. Everytime that happens, I start wondering why I am loud and I cry inside but I can't show my friends that because then they won't think I'm worthy of them anymore. I have to keep a high profile. I love making people smile but when I fail I feel completely useless and hate it so much, and sometimes accidentally take my anger out on people who don't deserve it, then they distance themselves away and I wonder why. Everyone thinks I'm weird because I have very specific dreams and altough they all say they're just joking, I know they probably aren't and one day I will break into pieces. I am wayy too selfish and even tho I'm trying to get better, sometimes I completely forget about others and I just want people to focus on me, and then I wonder why nobody ever does....