━━━ daniel!

@blackestbirds ;
            
            maybe that was the problem . daniel wanted to be in love in the way he was friends with kurt . they told each other basically everything . kurt was the first person he told / anything / . he was the first of his friends to know his dad left , the first to know when he'd lost his first tooth in elementary school , the first to know he needed glasses after a failed eye exam at the school nurse , the first to know about sebastian . he pressed his lips together . "i kind of wish it was," he sighed . "i just want to tell him everything and he won't really tell me / anything /. it's annoying." 

kurt blinked, surprised at the sudden eye contact. he'd gotten better at avoiding it with daniel lately, and it cut through him now. there was a traitor curl, slipping into daniel's eyes. with old reflexiveness, kurt brushed the curl aside, a pained tenderness in the touch. he knew daniel, better than anyone, better than the back of his hand. touching him came naturally in all the ways it shouldn't. "well, best friends tell each other everything. relationships . . . it isn't always like that."

@blackestbirds ;
            
            daniel's head snapped up to look at kurt at the sudden touch . he blinked slowly . he always wondered what the feeling he felt was whenever kurt touched him .  it had started when they were younger and had only gotten worse as they grew older . his heart always fluttered more and his palms always got unusually sweaty . "of course . yeah," he nodded . "it's . . . it's just weird that he doesn't really . . . you know , he tells santana more than he tells me . i'm sure he even talks to blaine more." 

@lovelikefoolss ; daniel let out a soft moan. it felt like entirely too much, especially on a fire escape. he was going to need severe mental help to stop thinking about it. it would probably plague his mind everytime he saw a pack of cigarettes or a bottle of wine. he would probably feel alicia's phantom lips against his -- he didn't want it to stop. it was too addictive. his hands moved from her waist to her thighs, gripping onto them slightly. 

alicia whimpered, a soft, pathetic noise as she pulled harsher on daniel’s curls. one of her hands trailed down slowly, nails digging slightly into the back of his neck as her tongue swirled around his. she hadn’t made out with a boy in awhile, always sticking to girls at daniel’s parties, and this felt strangely addictive. she liked this bolder side of daniel — liked his arms around her waist. her legs wrapped around him, pure instinct taking over.

@lovelikefoolss ; out of anyone daniel had expected to kiss from the new directions, alicia hadn't been one of them. but it was a better surprise than he'd expected. he'd assumed they'd try it once and just pull away because it wouldn't work, but it seemed as though it worked / too / much. his arms wrapped around her waist in an attempt to pull her closer than she was already was as his tongue slipped into her mouth, a soft noise escaping his lips as he did so. apparently he was a lot more / bold / when he was drunk. 

@lovelikefoolss ; "i'm usually right. i'm a genius and i go to therapy now. also, emma's been giving me pamphlets about this since i was fifteen, so . . ." daniel nudged her gently, smiling softly. he knew things would eventually be okay. they always were. things happened for a reason, and it hurt for a little while, but when things were good, they were / good / in an extraordinary way. he pressed his lips together, "i know it would. but when has it ever worked out for finn and rachel? they've always just used each other as outlets when they can't be with the people they / really / want to be with. y'know what would keep them from getting together? if you spoke to finn. but i think you know that. don't punish yourself. it's not worth it."

alicia breathed a sigh of relief. she hadn't even realized how tense she'd been, but daniel's understanding meant more to her than she'd admit. she didn't want him to think poorly of her, even if she didn't think too highly of herself. "maybe you're right," she said softly. "i know it's unfair but i'm just so / scared. / and kurt said there's some weird tension between him and rachel. he doesn't really seem to like it, either, but if they got back together--" alicia cut off, swallowing hard. "it would / kill / me, daniel." this, she figured, he'd know better than anyone.

@lovelikefoolss ; daniel shook his head. "no, i completely understand that." as much as he hated to admit it, kurt had loved blaine at one point in time. maybe it wasn't as strong as the love he and daniel had for each other, but he / did / love blaine and it had taken daniel months to admit it to himself, no matter how much he'd known it during his sophomore year. maybe it was still prominent even during his junior year. "well, i can't speak for finn, but if you had told / me / that, i would believe you. just . . . be completely honest with him. don't leave anything out. you both deserve to be happy." 

@blackestbirds ; daniel let out a breathy moan, gripping onto kurt's hair, arching to press his body against him, almost desperately. he could hear himself whispering, / begging / for him. he had never felt / this / particular way before. "please," he breathed out. "i need you." there was something about the way that kurt looked at him that made him / want / so much more. 

kurt’s eyes darkened at the admission, gaze dragging over daniel with a cross between longing and possessiveness. he was beautiful, and the way he was staring up at kurt made him want to lose his mind. he ducked down, lips trailing along daniel’s throat, teeth teasing his collarbone. “it’s always you,” he whispers softly, fingers sliding through his curls once again. “it’s never / not / you.” 

@blackestbirds ; he must have looked insane and desperate with his hooded eyes and his messy clothes. kurt looked beautiful. he always looked beautiful. not even the moon could compare to kurt's beauty, and it was a shame nobody else would ever see kurt like this. (he prayed and prayed hard about it; he felt like quinn fabray). "i always know what you want," he whispered softly. "mostly because it's usually / me /." 

kurt had generally felt out - of - place at dalton. blaine was always kind, and some of the warblers, like wes, david, and jeff were fun to be around. but he'd spent too much time missing his friends and resenting the situation with karofsky to truly appreciate it. he wondered how different it was for daniel; if he felt the same way that blaine had. "i heard," he says. alicia talked too much. "well, the blazer looks . . . / nice / on you. very prep school - chic."

@blackestbirds ; "i swear, i didn't talk to him for, like, two weeks after that, but my transfer kinda made that difficult. . . my dad paid for my tuition, so i couldn't / not / go," daniel almost hides in embarrassment. all the times he'd said he would never attend dalton only a year prior, and here he was, wearing a / dalton blazer /. he wondered if kurt had felt that same sense of belonging he did. 

"kind of," kurt muttered, eyeing his coffee like it might pipe up and agree with him. he didn't like sebastian. he hadn't liked that blaine, oblivious and fond of all attention, had fallen for his charms. he liked it even less that daniel had. smart, rational, inexplicable daniel. despite how unreasonable it was, kurt still felt flickers of possessiveness that came to life at the worst moments. "you realize he tried to / blind / me, right?"

@blackestbirds ; "oh, interesting," daniel nods. he very slowly takes his phone out, starting to text alicia to search up all the restaurants in westerville. / not / because they were crashing it. he was just curious about westerville cuisine. obviously. "like, an italian restaurant? . . . a diner, maybe? pizza?" 

kurt lifts another brow at the song change, before refocusing his attention on the road. there was never any traffic in ohio, but it gave him an excuse to breathe out some of the tension lingering in his body. he’d felt . . . types of ways around daniel before, but nothing quite as strong as it has been just now. “some restaurant in westerville,” kurt says. “he wanted something a little closer to home.”

@blackestbirds ; "i'm not afraid of rihanna," daniel groans. he reaches to change the song. taylor swift. that was good. safe. innocent. there were no songs about / sex /. he groans again -- this time in annoyance at the mention of blaine. boner gone. "where are you guys, like, going? breadstix?" he definitely wasn't planning on crashing with alicia. 

@lovelikefoolss ; * he smiles brightly , getting up from the couch and only stumbling slightly . * i will see you soon then . 

* she groans , flopping back against the couch , like a dramatic victorian man .  * you know what ? / sure / . shoot your shot .

@lovelikefoolss ; tell him tonight ? you're / insane / . * he did not listen correctly while he was drunk . * 

@blackestbirds ; you're my best friend , too . i think it's best for the both of us -- and everyone around us -- if we just stay that way . * he sighs deeply , looking at the floor to avoid kurt's eyes . * and some distance would be good , too . but just for a little while . you can't get rid of me that easily . 

i was happy with you . then , and as friends . you’ve always been my best friend . it used to be impossible to picture a world where you weren’t around . * he presses his lips together , blue eyes flickering with repressed emotion . * so i would’ve . wanted to be with you . i wasn’t the type to close myself off . . . but maybe you’re right . maybe you and i need some . . . distance . during this .

@blackestbirds ; i didn't know if / you / wanted a relationship . i mean , after your break up with blaine , i just . . . i don't know . maybe i should know , but i / don't / . i wish i hadn't broken up with you , but i just . . . i felt / sick / all the time and he would just / watch / me all the time , wanting me to make a mistake and i did anyway . i don't think i'll make you happy , and you deserve to be happy . 

@lovelikefoolss ; easier said than done , i think . 

maybe take some time to work on yourself . so / you're / happy with you . sounds cliche , but . . . i remember the two of you being at your best when you / did / date , brief as it was .

@lovelikefoolss ; i don't mean to be self-pitying , but i don't think . . . * he sighs . * i don't think he'll be happy with me . 

@lovelikefoolss ; he / literally / called kurt's very nice lamp 'faggy' . my trust issues were correct . 

no . / you / just have trust issues .

@lovelikefoolss ; he / was / weird . he kept asking me weird questions , and giving me stalker looks . you were too blinded to see it .