I apologize for not devoting more time to your story. It is not lack of interest, but in addition to my usual engagements, I also, together with @kemorgan62, busy in a project. She asked for my help in the technical side of her story, and it takes a lot of effort and focus. I hope I haven't bothered you with my critical observations, but I think that's precisely what you need right now. However, if you ever feel bothered, let me know right away.
Good luck! Jorkam.