this message may be offensive
damn it's been a hot minute since i last posted here huh?
well, after wattpad removed my fanfic ARITAS (a rip in time and space) despite it being on here for over 2 years, i had decided i wasn't going to really deal with this site anymore because i don't want to put so much effort into a story just to have it be removed for some dumb reason.
as it is, my ao3 account is more active than here and i'm planning on starting up some Wuthering Waves fanfics because i have been obsessed with that game for a while now lol. Jiyan and Aalto are such malewives and Xiangli Yao is my husband in my heart because he's just...so sweet??? so kind and considerate??? and Male!Rover is a frickin' gremlin sometimes i swear lol
anyway, life has been real shit lately and i think that's the biggest de-motivator for writing. family issues, not being able to find work, and just...life. it's not good and i'm not feeling great, and i can't enjoy anything much anymore which is probably why i latched onto WuWa so hard because for me it's a good escape from all the shit around me...with getting older comes the realization and constant thoughts haunting me that, yes, my mom is also getting older and won't be around forever and it scares me so damn badly and that's not really helping my mental state either cuz my thoughts just spiral down a dark path.
i constantly have to have some kinda noise in the background otherwise my thoughts get really dark..i don't want to be like this but idk how to be any other way. i don't know how to do basic adult shit because i was never taught and i think that's part of why i'm so scared of shit...