ivy_20_writes

Hey
          Are you interested in reading an assassin, best friend’s brother romance book? I’m currently writing one, so if you’d like, maybe check my profile out and give me feedback? Thanks a lot

ivy_20_writes

Okay thanks a lot
            
            It’s almost like you read my mind
            I was just thinking about that as I jotted down another story in my notebook. I had to insert a little (paragraph) on the notebook and leave it for when I’m writing the second draft. But I guess I’d have to go change this one rn.
            
            Thanks for reading and thanks for the feedback. Check back when I update it if you like. Although I have no idea when that would be
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Rose_Petal313

@ivy_20_writes Read it, loved it and I think your story definitely deserves more reads. Keep it up!  
            
            I also have some CONSTRUCTIVE criticism for you.
            I'd suggest not having a character's action in the same paragraph as another's quote unless you make it clear who's speaking. It just gets confusing.
            
            Like when you wrote: "Even if it'll hurt your daughter?" He snorts. "You're such a self-centered scumbag."
            
            It looks like her dad is saying it, not her.
            
            Unlike if you wrote: "Even if it'll hurt your daughter?" 
            
            He snorts. 
            
            "You're such a self-centered scumbag," I add.
            
            I hope that's clear, and I'm sorry if it sounds like lecturing. 
            Thank you for following me, hopefully soon I'll be able to suggest you my story. :)
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