this message may be offensive
Vent i guess (not like my posts get a lot of interaction anyways but still.):
Nothing feels real. I don’t know what the hell is going on but nothing feels real. Everything seems to loud. I feel like crying. The lights seem to bright. Everything seems too loud and too bright. I’m probably gonna put in my earbuds at some point. I don’t feel like I’m real. I feel like I’m an extra character in a movie if that makes any sense. My thoughts are fucking screaming at me. Can’t tell if I’m in another mood swing or if I’m actually fucking depressed this time. Who the hell knows at this point. My thoughts are fucking screaming at me to do something, anything to myself to make me feel real or alive. Something that makes me feel anything other than this. I can’t drown them out. I feel trapped in my own body. I feel like I’m in someone else’s body. I hate this. I hate this feeling. I hate feeling in general because it always gets someone annoyed at me. But I feel numb, yet I want to cry. Feeling numb only makes me feel worse. What the hell is wrong with me?