⭐️D0LLIE⭐️

TW: vent
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          
          Hi y’all so uhm, I kinda woke up today feeling nothing? Recently I’ve just hated myself and everyday woken up and felt nothing, sometimes I feel like crying, or I’ll get so frustrated with myself for not being able to di things I genuinely want to commit. Idek what’s wrong with me. I mean most days I can convince myself to act like I’m fine, but some days I just can’t be bothered to care. I’ve been considering scuicide a lot recently, I don’t know why. My life isn’t necessarily bad or anything bad or anything I just wake up feeling shit. I imagine what people Ik irl would say if they knew, my parents, my friends, my skl, everything. My dad in the past has called me a lot of things “ pathetic” “waste of space” “ good for nothing” and he isn’t wrong. I do feel like I am those things. I’ve needed to try and get rid of the pain, I would self harm but I’ve been trying not to, so instead I’ve been reading smut and starving myself. I stopped eating both to lose weight and as it’s really the only thing I have control over anymore, and reading smut isn’t for my own ‘pleasure’ or whatever shit you might think, I genuinely hate reading that shit,it makes me feel gross. I only do it as it makes me feel SOMETHING, y’all can thank the body’s natural instincts for that lol. So uh, apart from that my weeks been fine wby :D

My mum just tried to convince me that pansexual and a romantic are the same thing after I explained what they were to her (she’s pansexual with a bf) 

Happy new year Dolls <3 ^_^

Going to my abusive dads tmrw ya’ll <3

Lowkey thinking of making a Bkdk book bec I’ve become obbsesed again Heh… 
          
          
          Like bec I’m depressed n shitz might make Baku angst bec I mutherfuckin can >_<

Happy New Year's :3 <33

HIYA!!! @S0M3W31RDO idk if your reading this or not but I’m going to my dads today  for New Year’s Eve and I rlly wanna see you, my discord is on my oc at my dads hence why I haven’t been talking but I have a lot of want to say tmrw that has been on my mind that I think would be better presented irl  
          
          If you are reading I must know how you are? Are you well? Has anyone bothered you (I’ll kick their ass hehe ^_^)? How’s our friends feeling? Have you thought of me? I’ll be honest as of recently I’ve thought of you a lot! I don’t even know why.. well I think? Again something I’d rather say in person, tho knowing my dad he’d probably kick off at me for asking as we haven’t seen eatch other for a long time. I have a phone now as well, it’s what I’m typing on now ^_^ I might bring it to my dads so I can get discord and sighn into my Google account. I remember the day we were going to see eatchother was a Tuesday, I was so excited to see you but I got suspended and wound up with my mum, tho im not complaining. 
          
          You don’t have to answer my questions I understand they might be overwhelming for you as I haven’t seen you in so long nor spoke. Though again I’d rather speak of why in person rather than text. I cried the other night, I was worried about you! See I’ve been depressed lately and thought of yk.. but when I relised what death truly ment I was petrified of putting that on you, after all I like you so much and I couldn’t live a day without you if you died so why should I? You’ve healed me in other words, not completely, but enough to make me think twice before sh-ing. Though, im still the same depressing alcoholic you may remember me as, it’s gottan worse recently as of now I drink every other day and get drunk sometimes, my mums fine with it tho. 
          
          Heh, sorry. I totally just trauma dumped on you, I just have a lot to say to you after all. This was ment to be a little paragraph letting you know I’m alive and well and I might see you tomorrow. Byebye ^_^ <3

Surviving on beer, YouTube and depressing shit atm 

On my new phone hehehe >_<

FUKOUNA GIRL!! FUKOUNA GIRRRRRLLL!1!!!1!