make it shine

It’s been a while, I hope you’re okay :)

{Isn't it quite silly to want to be the hero in a story that isn't even yours?}

{when you miss the people you'll never get to speak to again, and suddenly you realise the people who you once thought the world of that left by choice, and still aren't in your life by choice, don't mean that much anymore. even when it felt like the end of the world when they first left.
          
          sometimes i stare the the wall and i think of the people who hurt me and who i hurt, and wonder if it's worth it to say hello, and then the next five minutes i'm crying not for them, but for those who i really lost, who really mattered.
          
          it was stupid of me to think it was ever worth it, but it was so foolish of me to believe it wasn't. at least now, i understand a lot more. but i'm still some chum who will never matter in the end to those people the same way they aren't for me.
          
          it's weird the things that come to mind when you just let your fingers move at 3am.
          
          i just miss my family.
          
          i wonder if she ever reads these messages. if wattpad is a forgotten app to her now. hey, if you see this little paragraph, are you two happier without me? do you still talk to -----? are you still dating him? i want to know sometimes, but at the same time i want you to know that i've moved on and i never want to see you again. i actually found friends who cared... i found out the truth. i found out something i know you'll be too naive to accept. so i write this to tell you, and i mean it... you can never truly love anyone without loving yourself first.
          
          i'm just lonely at three am, and none of what i said will make sense in the morning, i know. but it's fine, i'll live. i promised i would. to myself. i don't want to be sad anymore, it's why my name is soft after all.
          
          i'm a liar to myself though, but one day...}

{i literally do nothing, have no motivation, and when I start something I feel like there's never enough time for it. isn't that silly?}

{Happy New Years!!!}

{Sorry I haven't been online very much, I don't have internet at home so I have to make do with what I got... Which is nothing. I will be getting wifi soon, and hopefully then I can be more active and send more replies to people who are patiently waiting for them, and to those who are, thank you for your patience with me.}

{Does anyone know how to stop being tired all the time? I slept all day and I still feel like sleeping another 20 hours but I have things to do and I can't when I'm freaking asleep. 
          
          Also to anyone wondering why I have responded to our roleplays.. Well ^^ there's your answer}

Yo, I hope you’re doing well :D I haven’t heard much from you and I’m used to seeing something on your message board pop up every now and then so I hope you’re okay!
          

{Me: I'll be more active on wattpad now that I'm off hiatus!
          
          Also me: *laughs in distractions*}

{Guess who's back, back again
          
          Softness back, tell a friend
          
          Lmao okay ignoring my nerdy return I'm out of hiatus so idk I guess I'll be a bit more active now, but school is also a thing so be patient haha}