SBIrules

My church is stupid ASF.
          
          They're like, "we accept the rejects, we make everyone feel comfortable and give high schoolers and middle schoolers a place to see others their age worship."
          
          Bitch no you do not. You took away the only place for me to see my friends and others like me. You used to gives middle and high schoolers a place to go but not anymore! You said we were being babies and that we needed to see the adult talk about marriage and how fucked up their sex life is. Now I don't see any of my friends, or leaders because you said that we were mature enough to get rid of all our friends. Flatirons is a stupid church that pretends they accept everyone when they don't.

Today's my birthday!
          
          I know I haven't been the best at uploading but school is pretty hard 
          
          I have all advanced classes and that's scary
          
          Plus science is just freaking insane, wayyy to hard
          
          Anyway, I'm 14 today!
          
          Depending where you live it might've been yesterday, but I was born in the 6th of November :)
          
          Luv ya!

I just figured out that the trip I have been looking forward to for a WHOLE FUCKING YEAR! Requires a COVID vaccine, which I'm not against. The problem is my mom is. She thinks if I get it I won't be able to have kids. And she's stated multiple times before that if they did end up requiring a vaccine that we wouldn't go. WE PAID THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS, I GOT MULTIPLE JOBS, I MADE 600 DOLLARS BY MYSELF! FUCK EVEN OUR FAMILY DONATED TO US TO GET TO GO! AND THERE'S A CANCELLATION FEE ON TOP OF THAT! Plus I've told her I don't want kids! And that's not going to change! I'm not good with kids, they hate me and I hate them! And If I did change my mind I can adopt! There are so many kids already in the world that need homes why make more!? I don't know what little hope she's holding on to but it's stupid! I'm not gonna magically wake up one day and be like, "oh these alien looking, non-self sufficient, bald ass, red asf, crabby, ugly, things are amazing! And having to rip open my vag to get it sounds so fun! Oh oh oh, I can't wait to be bankrupt when my baby-dady leaves me, doesn't pay child support, and I'm stuck being a single mother like mine was!" LIKE NO! it's so stupid she won't let me do what I want with my body and health, I've proven to be wayy more mature than an average person my age. Even my therapist was impressed with how my brain works. I am pissed. And I'm sorry for the rant but I just got the E-mail a couple mins ago and my mom's asleep so I need someone to talk to.

Hey hey, so so so sorry I broke my phone so I've been out of commission for a while bc I was also on vacation.
          I have another vacation next week with no data at all there which is shitty. So I won't post prob until 2 weeks from now. But while I am here can I have some quotes from Phil that's are inspirational? I know there are prob millions but I can't seem to remember or find much. Thxx babes luv uu <3

Analogy time bc imma sleep deprived angel :3
          
          Figuring out yourself and what you like is like trying on clothes
          You can't just decide what size will fit, you try on all sizes until you find what does.
          So yes, some things may quite literally be phases, but others aren't.
          You need to go through different phases to find what fits for you. 
          No one else decides what your phases are or arent, you do.
          So, please, feel free to try on all sizes, love you beauties.
          Nothing is one size fits all.
          
          

Bro I hate remembering cringe things I've done.
          Like, brain, WHY YOU GOTTA BE THAT WAY!?
          Fr I can't stop thinking about one time, I was tickling one of my friends and then I started disassociating, WHILE LOOKING AT HER TITS! MY BRAIN COULD'VE CHOSEN ANYY SPOT BUT NOOOO! IT HAD TO BE THERE! And she called it out too! So not only did I embarrass myself then, but to have to think about it everyday, for the rest of my life! And I made up the shittiest excuse. I thought, if I said I disassociated she would think I was lying. SO MY DUMB ASS SAID, "your belly." WTF! THAT SOUNDS EVEN WORSE BC I JUST WALKED AWAY RIGH AFTER!
          I wanna cry, die, and never show my face again. :'(((
          and the best part about this story was it happened a whole year ago but, I remember!
          
          Another time bc we have gone into the topic I can't leave without saying this story. I was like, 7 right, and I was a little ho. I have a cousin, and he taught me allll about lgbt. One day we were talking abt how he was polyamorus. I said, "oh I might be poly" to which he responded, well do you date multiple people at once. AND MY LITTLE WHORE ASS SAID, "well, do they have to know?"!!!!! LIKE WTF! He stared at me for a whole 5 mins before saying, "umm that's cheating?" :''O THIS WAS WHEN I WAS 7!!!!!! S.E.V.E.N. YEARS OF AGE!
          KILL ME NOW! DO IT! HE SURE AS FUCK WONT MISS ME!

It feels like my legs are being ripped off my bodyyy
          I did a really intense workout yesterday and I'm sore EVERYWHERE!!! I can barely walkkkkk :'((

I pulled an all nighter last night to "fix my sleep schedule" but immediately after church I fassed out in my room and just woke up!! I mean, at least my sheep schedule used to invold the night! Now I sleep during the day!!  

Ok this is probably the weirdest this to say rn but I just found the HOTTEST fanart if technoblade ever!! I have mixed feelings but oh mah gahh

Currently sobbing after hearing abt how SBI reacted to Techno, and watching Skeppy's vid. Rn I'm hugging my techno plush and watching his old videos. I definitely recommend watching them, it will help give you some laugh's I know we all need. I encourage you to stay hydrated, and nourished. Grieving is natural, it's ok to cry, even if you didn't know him personally. Take all the time you need to grieve him, but also make sure to take care of yourself, when did you last take a shower? What did you eat last, and when? How much water have you had? It's important to have water when you cry, because tears leak out your moisture, and you need to keep that supply going lol. The last thing you want rn is a headache on top of everything going on. I know it's hard, but it always gets better, it even got better for Techno. Now he isn't in pain, and I'm sure he's loving the challenge on taking on God. 
          Remember to get as much rest as possible! This I'm personally struggling with, I am not moving but, it's harder to sleep now bc my mind keeps going to him. I love you all so so sooo much!! Try to hug a loved one soon. I'm sorry if that's not really an option rn, but I know for sure as soon as I see my friend tomorrow I'm asking for a hug. You don't even need to say much just, "hey can I have a hug rn?" And I'm sure they will let you. 
          You all mean the world to me, have a nice day/night, and I'll ttyl. ♥️♥️