ㅤ

fuck. i miss alan.

ik hou van je,
          dat zal nooit veranderen.

i still miss you today,
          but my love for you is endless.

i miss you so much, indie.

i love you, indie and i'm sorry for not being able to spend the rest of your days with you. i fucking suck as a best friend and i regret it so much that it took me the longest time to be back. i don't even want to think about you leaving and never being able to speak with you again. i can't lose you, too. i fucking can't.

happy new year, my love!
          
          i can't believe i gave you my heart one year ago. excitedly looking forward to the many more days, months and years to come that we'll spend together. hoping i can shower you with even more of my love, 2018 will be better, we will make it better.
          you are everything i ever need. you mean the world, the universe and more, further than the endless galaxies to me. my love for you is endless, it goes on and on. just like the thought of you when i wake up and when i close my eyes at night. indie, my love. we have been through the times where we would rather curl up in each other's arms than worry over so many things that have happened. i hope, in this new year, to share more laughter, more love, more tears and more anger, more happiness and more emotions with you than we've already did in 2017. a beautiful year we can now leave behind with many memories. you make me, alan, the happiest human on earth and i can't deny that. i truly hope i can bring you even more joy, happiness and love, because you deserve all of it. you're the most wonderful, wholehearted and beautiful woman i have ever met and i could not bare to lose you, ever. i'm not leaving you until the day my life ends. i promise to always be here for you to help you through the rough times too, i hope you know that.
          
          depend on me.
          
          i love you, indie solei vark.

i'm done. absolutely undeniably done.

i love every single piece of you, every single thing about your beautiful soul. though right now i really miss you and you should be back soon because i want to talk to you and embrace you with my love.

i’m blessed for having the privilege to meet you and be one of your closest friends. i love you always, sunshine.

/i/ want to be like you. because i get to see a bird’s point of view of your life and how you’re dealing with everything that has been coming at your way and goddamn. you blow me away with your courageous heart.