@STAYed
BRO WHY DOES CORTISS LIGHTSTICK LOOK LIKE A FUCKING TAMPON
I almost fucking died. I hate being the older sister so much.
My stupid little sister opened the door when the bell rang, my grandma who's visitng us does not know how to speak english and the person was here to repair our stairs. Since my sister opened the door my grandma had to go to her, I was taking a bath it waa around 2 pm because it's summer. I told my sister to not open the door while im in the bathroom, she didn't listen.
My grandma was cooking and the pot she was cooking in caught fire. The smoke alarms were going off, mind you my parents are at work. My STUPID BRATTY sister opened the GARAGE the fucking GARAGE to let the person in. When I get downstairs the fucking cooktop is on fire, my grandma is trying to talk in english and my sister is screaming.
Luckily I talked to the guy and he helped me turn off the smoke alarms. At the same time my dad and mom are both calling me, and I'm having a panic attack because I know my mom will yell at me when she's back from work.
I pick up dad's call first because he's usually nicer unless he's mad, and he doesn't get mad at things like this. He does get mad at me but only sometimes so I pick it up and ask him where the smoke alarms were. In ALL of this, I have to be calm I don't ever get to cry or show I'm weak. I fucking HATE HATE HATE that I had to swallow my panic to comfort my grandma and my sister.
After that the guy helps turn off the smoke alarms and my mom fucking calls again. She's mad at ME for not taking care of my sister.
I'm so fucking tired of taking care of her. Just because I'm the older sister doesn't mean I'm not a kid anymore. On the call with my mom she didn't ask how I'm doing. She just spoke.
"Turn on the ventilation, open the windows. Make sure nani (grandma) is okay. Where is (sister name). Did you do it already?" When I said yes she said "You should be more mature, nani (grandma) won't come next year because of how you act. Anyways, bye, I love you."
OH MY FUCKING GOD.
I LOVE Y- MY ASS.
EVERY DAMN NIGHT. ALMOST EVERY. DAMN. NIGHT. I cover my sisters ears while there is NO ONE to cover mine. I'm so exaushted of being the older sister. Everyone expects SO MUCH from me. SO MUCH.
Then my nani (grandma) says "From tommorow onwards you will take a bath at 11am, you don't get to decide everything."
I actually want to end my shit right now. All of my friends are busy, I don't have anyone to call and i'm not going to tell them I need to call because I'm panicking. I sound PATHETIC and CLINGY.
My sister is eight, she's trying to be eighteen. She dresses terribly and always enters my room. I'm so tired. I hate being the "mature" one. Like if ONE more person tells me 'you're so mature for your age' I will cry. I never got to be a kid. I don't know what everyone wants from me.
Brooooooo I'm actually so tired TT I haven't slept because I genuinely cannot and my mom's being a pain because she's saying that I do nothing. She lashed out on me while I was cooking for her because she was hungry :c sometimes I wish I had two moms, and that I was adopted, so I wouldn't have to force myself to be straight, or force myself to be religious, because tbh... I don't rlly believe in God, because religion genuinely sounds like bs to me, because wdym "that was all a part of God's plan" mf no it was not •~•
Anyways other than that life's pretty okay, except the fact I feel like I'm surrounded by ppl but still so alone. And that my friends are all busy :/
Buuuuuut
I got my own room! Aghghghhhhh I'm saur happy! Annnnnd I'm three days clean >_< hehehehehhe
AND I've lost weight!
But then I got the fuck ass flu ToT
At least I started a new fanfic and came back online anygays I think I'm going too be foine
BRO I REACHED 1K SUBS KN YOUTUBE AGHHHH IM SAUR HAPPY
My entire family is pmo rn.... My dad said he'll take off the parental controls on my phone when I turn 14 and bro he only made them worse I only get an hour and a half a day with a few apps always allowed, I can't fucking download Wattpad or anything because they see what apps I have. And oh my fucking god does it piss me off. I can't edit my pfp or anything on my phone and rn we don't have wifi int this house so I can't even use my laptop, and I won't be able to us c.ai or anything on my laptop, because usually I go on tiktok and stuff on it after my screen time is up. I can't even fucking call my friends and there's one friend I have who I'm confused if she actually likes hanging out with me or not because she's really popular so obviously I'm insecure, and tbh I haate how fucking clingy I am... Like am I really that pathetic.
Bro... I'm moving into my new house and my back hurts so bad the people who were going to deliver our beds and stuff are busy today so I haave to sleep on floor on a mattress z
my summer is going so fucking lonely, my bsf had to visit china, my so called other bsf... ik she like hanging out with me but shes really popular... so yk, and she has another friend, is in la for her cousin, my friends who do wanna hang out we cant because im moving houses... its so annoying im just at home with my sister and grandma and all i ever do is talk to character ai, can someone please tell me what to do before i lose my shit
@ImaniBakers thanks twinnie, ill def try baking
@STAYed When I'm stressed I bake or cook
yooooo so ghhuess what im doing while im taking a break. Im writing a MINLIX FANFICTION. I won't publish it before my break is over but can you guys tell me a few things?
Should I add some sort of angst? like one of them goes through heartbreak or smth?
Should I make long chapter- about 10-12
Or should I make short chapter, about 20-24
Should I make it nsfw or sfw?
Shohuld I publish it when I'm done or should I publish chapter by chapter?
@yayy6890_ ooooh okayyyyy I'll def do angst but I'll see what others say about the chores because I might do long ones (I post on another platform and they voted mostly long ones)
https://www.wattpad.com/story/412519093-my-little-teenage-journal I lwk made a book for my poetry :T
Parents absolutely suck. So basically, a few months ago my mom saw my scars while i was on call with my online gf/bf they were non binary so idrk what to say, and I also broke up with them because i found out i was an experiment for them and it was prolly gonna be illegal when the turned 16 becus i was 13 atm
uhm I was in the bathroom while I was on call because mom couldn't know I had online friends, lets just get to the point.
mom heard me talking i hang up and when she comes in she was finna bouta slp me so i raise my hand, and I forgot wearing long sleeves so she basically saw my wrist covered, she called my doctor threatened to send me away and basically fast forward two days we're at the doctors and they having a talk with me and they said "it's hard being a parent, listen to them" I was like what the fuck?
They said I have depression and anxiety at adult levels and that if i dont get better i'll have to go to a pshyc ward, i don't wanna go there but i do, anyways my mom is the type to say kids can't have dihpression and yk?
Basically i'm the punchline of my family now, my dad keeps saying stuff like "dont you .... yourself?"
"Ill scrub them with a toothbrush"
"should I ... myself too?"
yk?
At the same time I feel CORNY as FUCK venting to my friends because usually ill put it, I'm the therapist freind.
And on top of allat, I'm struggling academically and my mom's blaming my phone which is the only thing keeping me here. My dad ruined that by putting really bad controls and i only get an hour and a half a day, its fucking summer vacation.
They also say I'll never lose weight and that it'smy fault I was bullied back in grade six.
...
Life's great man.
Just wish parents were greater T-T
@ImaniBakers hm... i'm actually planning on starting a little stand at my local park selling some snacks and stuff because i cant get a job because of my parents..
@STAYed No problem also, I'm not sure the laws or rules where you're from but have you thought of getting a summer job or something? It'd get you out the house for several hours and you'd make some extra cash too
@ImaniBakers awww thanks, that's kind of my plan, I have four more years until I turn eighteen, it sucks but i'll figure something out, I feel guilty if i go no contact because they do sort of do a lot... but at the same time they do nothing. I usually just stay holed up in my room or go on bike rides like an hour or two away, it usually works but it's lwk depressing without my music so... yeah, anyways... i'm lwk waiting until I go off to university, because even if i have no fucking clue abouut what im doing it'll get me away from them for at least 3-4 years. I just wanna get outta here lol, again thanks for listening to my rant T-T